Bob Dylan- Lily, Rosemary, and the Jack of Hearts
Part I- Real Sext
August 23rd, 10:06 PM
B: Totally thinking of the last time we made love. Like the way your bracelets jangle when you make me cum...
D: My cock is still big and fat, wanting to slam your tight little girl pussy with the ghetto booty to cushion the driving and pumping!!!!
B: I wish your fat cock was fucking my tight little hole right now, daddy, making me fucking scream for mercy.
D: That's what you need! You should just let me get my anger out by making you cum screaming and me throwing you around and controlling you with my hands... This is another reason we should always be together!!:-p
B: Take all your aggression out on my soaking wet little pussy. Dominate me, order me around like your little slut girl. I’ll do anything for my daddy’s cum. I want your cum all over me.
D: I know what you need you little slut and so you'll do what I tell you and I will cum all over you and You'll love it! So cum and take your punishment and submit...
B: I do need to be punished, daddy. I’ve been such a bad little slut. So insolent and insubordinate. You need to take me over your knee and show me who’s boss. Shove your fat cock down my throat. Whatever you want. I’m so wet for you alone.
D: You fucking little wet whore, you'll never be satisfied without my huge veiny throbbing cock in your mouth while I push your head down till you choke on it All, I should just bend you over my knee and jam my finger into you till you scream and tell your only Daddy and Master that you Love him only forever while you sit that fat booty on my face and rub your swollen clit.
Sit that fat ass on my face!
B: This is so hot... Your cock is the only thing that makes me happy. And the only thing that makes me cum so fucking hard over and over. I’m your little cum slut. I wish you were feeding me that big dick right now; fucking my face, while I rub my little slit in anticipation for that granite horse-cock.
D: I'm soo hard and I would force you to take it really rough and deep and fuck you like an animal. Bite your ass while I feel your soft little hairs on my nose while I tongue fuck you before I squirt all over your face!
Did you cum for your Daddy yet slut?
B: I need to be fucked rough, to put me back in line for being such a bad girl to my daddy. I need my daddy’s cock as punishment. I’m about to come right now, Daddy.
D: I'm your Master and I'm going to abuse your sweet Cunt!
B: Oh my God!!!!! Fuck yes, Daddy. Your cock is huge! It looks so good. I just came so hard, baby.
D: Good you nasty little Slut! I need your soaking wet cunt lips spread over my face while you sit and smother me and stroke Daddy's huge staff!
B: I’ll do whatever my daddy wants to make him cum. All I want is your hot load shooting all over my face.
D: I wanna kiss your painted toes while you grab my horse-cock and stick the big head between your wet slutty pink lips! Cum and get you face all full of cum pools you nasty slut... Your Daddy's little slut you better remember that! I wanna make you Scream right now!!
And You Will do what ever I want if you always want my cum! Right slut?! How much cum do you want? Submit my beautiful bitch: and love all of it!!!!!
I wanna watch you Fuck yourself with a big dildo while I stick my big cock down your throat!!
B: Holy. Shit. I totally came again!!!
D: Good Girl! That's how juicy and willing my little slut is! Keep going my nasty little daughter, Daddy needs your pulsing hole!!!!!!!
I need to hurt that wet pussy with all the inches Daddy has to give his perfect slut!
August 25th 11:50 PM
D: My dick is so long and Hard! I need to shove it down your throat and rape your tight little pussy!:-p
B: I rubbed my wet little slit dreaming of my sexy Daddy and his rock hard cock, this afternoon. I came rereading your super hot texts...Twice.
I love my Daddy very much, and only feel good when I am pleasing him, in every way.
I’m truly your submissive little slut.
D: Good Girl, you are Daddy's perfect little slut.
I need to worship and abuse my little slut and watch her finger herself while I lick around her lips and clit!!
I need to cum all over you!:-p
B: I want all your cum any where my Daddy wants to shoot it.
D:You are the most beautiful and sexy baby, I need you:)!!!!!!!!
August 26th 9:15 AM
B: My panties are so wet thinking about you. I’m playing with my little pussy again dreaming about you Daddy. And that big horse cock of yours. I’m fantasizing all kinds of filthy things you could do to me.
D: I can't Wait!! I need to hear you scream while I pound you with your pussy juice all over my long swollen horse cock!!! Mmmmm
B: I wish your fat cock was fucking my soaking wet pussy right now. I know I’d be coming over and over on that big dick. I’m so hot for you.
I want to be your obedient little slut and a good girl for my daddy. Give him whatever dirty thing he wants.
D: Me too sexy slut, my love, I want to so bad!!!:) Good girl, you are Daddy's perfect little slut and I have some things for you to do now!!
B: Order me around. Make me worship your cock.
D: Yes and I wanna get a big dildo to fuck yourself while I face fuck you and get ready to punish your soaking pussy hard!!
B: Whatever my daddy wants! I just want to make my daddy happy. I can’t wait to taste that fat cock in my mouth. It’s been so long since I’ve had daddy’s big cock shoved down my throat... I need it to be a happy, submissive girl for my darling Daddy.
D: I was watching some porn and dreaming that the girl was sucking my cock like you do! Only you can Take me all down your throat!! Confession: I love it when you choke on it!
I need to see you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)
B: Good, I love gagging on your big hard cock. It gets me so excited.
D: I swear you have made it Bigger
B: My favorite is when you are standing up and I’m on my knees. Or kneeling over me while I’m laying down.
D: When are you cumming to submit to my cock??????
B: God, I wish I could right now.
D: Me too!!!!!!:) so bad, I miss you sooooooo much!!!!!!! Can a guy get a smiley face or two from the girl he loves?? Lol
B: Baby, you’re getting so much more than emojis! ;)
D: I know I feel it! I just wanna hear how you love me and make you laugh a bit:) I have so much love for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I need some love and pussy emojis lol!!!
August 26th 7:28 PM
D: I just got into the second cologne: Monte Blanc Noir, you have to check it out and see if you like it, I do :)
B: I miss the way you smell so fucking much. God. That’s irresistible too...
I know as soon as I see you, and smell you, I’m going to want your hands all over me. And your kisses and, your snuggles, and your big, fat...
It’s not fair! How much you make me lose control. ;)
D: You have the same affect on me! So it is fair!:) bring your shirt and I can smell it up for you! BTW you know deep down that we were meant for each other!! We need to count our blessings!:):)
B: You’re so fucking romantic on top of it all! You drive me wild. Quite literally, sometimes.
D: You are so romantic too :) don't worry I'm gonna get you back and make you feel so good and we will look back and laugh! I love my special baby girl!!
August 27th 11:02 PM
D: I can't wait to get you drunk again and fuck Daddy's perfect little pussy till you are helpless and out there, while you gush all over my long cock going in and out of you hard!
B: Oh my God, Daddy. All I do is fantasize about you and your fat cock all day and rub my soaking wet little pussy for you.
I’m wet right now thinking about it while I’m out at a concert. I can’t stop thinking about Daddy’s big cock and how good he fucks his little girl.
D: :) good girl, I hope you are having fun
B: Not as much fun as I have when my Daddy loves me and fucks me...
D: That what I want my girl to tell her Daddy, he loves you to death and wants to possess you fully, and drink his drink while he licks your dripping pussy! The taste together would be Awesome!!:-p:-p
Sorry for the dumb typos but all my blood is in My Horse Cock!
We need to order a big dildo so Daddy can rape you with it and lick it clean while you jam my Hard meat down your wanton throat! Right slut?!!
B: Of course Daddy! Whatever pleases you is what I want! I would love very much for Daddy to fuck both my throat and pussy simultaneously. ;)This all sounds so hot, Daddy!
D: You are my perfect girl Baby!:) Don't forget it!!! PS, I love the scent of your pussy it drives me crazy! I wish I had your panties if not you to smell and cum on!! Mmmmm heheheee
B: That’s funny because I seriously love the smell of your cock. It always smell so fucking clean like soap, but also somehow pheromonal, like sex to come. It’s the best. I could almost smell it when you sent me that dick pic. I came this morning to that picture...
D: Also :) we are going to to all of that and more but I need you here to grab and hold down, silly! I'd ball gag you but I LOVE the sounds you make and what you say!! But maybe we need nipple clamps too?? Lol:-p
B: Oh my god, one of the extemporaneous fantasies I had about you while I was masturbating, was you fucking while you held down one of those big Hitachi vibrators on my clit, and made me cum over and over again on your cock. I almost forgot about that little closing gem! That sent me over the edge, as I recall.
D: I love when I pull out and you suck your pussy juice off my cock so I can get more!! We need to shop together my little girl:)
B: Cleaning Daddy’s cock is my favorite, favorite thing. It makes me feel like such a good, submissive little slut for you. I love worshiping at the altar of my Daddy’s thick cock.
D: I love you more than words can say my darling sub slut!! You talk big but you better cum and get on your knees and worship it and stop wasting your time...
B: Ha! Please. You know what a submissive, good girl I am, Daddy! You know I’m not just talking trash. I’ve sucked Daddy’s cock so many times, and let him fuck my little girl pussy whenever he wants it. I’ll show you, Daddy. Don’t you worry. I can’t wait for my Daddy’s hot load all over his submissive little slut bitch.
D: Cum give me more baby girl slut! I want to cum on you and my cock got even Harder when you called yourself the hot little slut bitch that you are! You are Daddy's fantasy. Period.
B: You are my fantasy, Daddy! I’m always dreaming about you, and the things I can do to make my Daddy happy. I love my Daddy so much! You make me soak through my lacy panties. I always want to make your cock hard, and please you, and satisfy you, and love you. I want to be your good girl, always.
Sometimes I get out of line and I just need Daddy’s cock to give me an attitude adjustment. To fuck me into submission.
D: It’s all good, my love. I need you my sweet loving romantic sugar pie! :)
You need to take off your wet panties for Daddy and wrap them around his swollen shaft and suck on his throbbing head and look up and tell him you love your Daddy! Mmmmm
I love you precious darling, night night:)
B: I can’t wait to please my Daddy! I love you. Night night.
August 29th 12:34 PM
D: We have to drink our champagne so I can fuck you
with the bottle!!:-p yummy
B: Hey! I thought no sexy talk until we can actually have sex! :P
D: I had that one saved since yesterday, sorry lol see you don't even know what you've been missing!:-p
B:I keep looking at that picture you sent me of your cock... It looks so fucking big and thick. I want to taste it so badly. It looks so beautiful and perfect and huge. I want my Daddy to fuck me with that mammoth cock; slap me around with it. Make me his submissive little girl for it.
I can’t wait. I can’t wait for you to fuck me. And I can’t wait to tell my daddy how much I love him and thank him for fucking his little girl so good and making me cum so many times.
August 30th 1:19 AM
D: PS Daddy's Big Fat Cock is throbbing for his little submissive baby girl!!>=)
I do want to slap you around with it! And make you gag on it like the little slut you love to be for Your Daddy:D
B:Go ahead and get some sleep, Daddy. :P
D:No doubt, I totally am after cumming thinking about fucking your ghetto booty!!!! Lol:-p yummy
B: Damn, I wish I was there to take all my Daddy’s cum...
D: I have been cumming so much for you!! I wish you were here to be covered in my hot loads!!
B: Believe me, I do too! I have been rubbing my wet little slit for you at least a couple times a day. I can do almost nothing else! I love my Daddy’s cum. And when I see my Daddy, I’m going to make him feel so good he’ll let me have his yummy load all over his little girl.
In fact, I’m going to get in bed and play with Daddy’s little pussy and dream of my sexy daddy and his thick, juicy cock that gets so hard for his wanton slut.
D:Good girl Baby! I love you my wet, sub slut. Daddy needs to abuse you and make you happy and squeal! Night night, hot pussy slut for Daddy
B:Night night sexy, big dick Daddy!
September 15th 2:36 AM
B: I can't stop thinking about my Daddy! I miss you so much. I just keep playing with my wet little snatch hoping Daddy will come back to sate me. The only thing that satisfies me is Daddy's big, monster cock. Why won't Daddy fuck his little girl???
Warren Zevon- Hostage-O
Ryan Adams- Hotel Chelsea Nights
This morning I woke up somewhere south of 7 AM. I couldn’t manage to find sleep, so I slipped my hand beneath my cotton panties, and I started to dream about you. I imagined us in your bed, as you commanded me this way or that, and you growled in my ear, that you wanted to stick your fat, veiny cock in my juicy cunt. Really more of a memory than a fantasy. I finally came when I imagined your deft fingers working in and out of my pussy, so that your bracelets jangle together in that way I find irresistible. I came so hard that I cried out, “Oh, Daddy!” Then immediately, I began just crying, slow, sad tears that trudged down my blushed cheek. All I could do was lament, “Oh Daddy...”
I wish this was something I poetically dreamt up, but it isn’t.. I really have such intense and mixed feelings for you, now. Between the pleasure and the pain, the love and lament; romance and ruin. You’ve seeped into my subconscious and I don’t know how to rid myself of you... Or even if I want to.
Part I- Real Sext
August 23rd, 10:06 PM
B: Totally thinking of the last time we made love. Like the way your bracelets jangle when you make me cum...
D: My cock is still big and fat, wanting to slam your tight little girl pussy with the ghetto booty to cushion the driving and pumping!!!!
B: I wish your fat cock was fucking my tight little hole right now, daddy, making me fucking scream for mercy.
D: That's what you need! You should just let me get my anger out by making you cum screaming and me throwing you around and controlling you with my hands... This is another reason we should always be together!!:-p
B: Take all your aggression out on my soaking wet little pussy. Dominate me, order me around like your little slut girl. I’ll do anything for my daddy’s cum. I want your cum all over me.
D: I know what you need you little slut and so you'll do what I tell you and I will cum all over you and You'll love it! So cum and take your punishment and submit...
B: I do need to be punished, daddy. I’ve been such a bad little slut. So insolent and insubordinate. You need to take me over your knee and show me who’s boss. Shove your fat cock down my throat. Whatever you want. I’m so wet for you alone.
D: You fucking little wet whore, you'll never be satisfied without my huge veiny throbbing cock in your mouth while I push your head down till you choke on it All, I should just bend you over my knee and jam my finger into you till you scream and tell your only Daddy and Master that you Love him only forever while you sit that fat booty on my face and rub your swollen clit.
Sit that fat ass on my face!
B: This is so hot... Your cock is the only thing that makes me happy. And the only thing that makes me cum so fucking hard over and over. I’m your little cum slut. I wish you were feeding me that big dick right now; fucking my face, while I rub my little slit in anticipation for that granite horse-cock.
D: I'm soo hard and I would force you to take it really rough and deep and fuck you like an animal. Bite your ass while I feel your soft little hairs on my nose while I tongue fuck you before I squirt all over your face!
Did you cum for your Daddy yet slut?
B: I need to be fucked rough, to put me back in line for being such a bad girl to my daddy. I need my daddy’s cock as punishment. I’m about to come right now, Daddy.
D: I'm your Master and I'm going to abuse your sweet Cunt!
B: Oh my God!!!!! Fuck yes, Daddy. Your cock is huge! It looks so good. I just came so hard, baby.
D: Good you nasty little Slut! I need your soaking wet cunt lips spread over my face while you sit and smother me and stroke Daddy's huge staff!
B: I’ll do whatever my daddy wants to make him cum. All I want is your hot load shooting all over my face.
D: I wanna kiss your painted toes while you grab my horse-cock and stick the big head between your wet slutty pink lips! Cum and get you face all full of cum pools you nasty slut... Your Daddy's little slut you better remember that! I wanna make you Scream right now!!
And You Will do what ever I want if you always want my cum! Right slut?! How much cum do you want? Submit my beautiful bitch: and love all of it!!!!!
I wanna watch you Fuck yourself with a big dildo while I stick my big cock down your throat!!
B: Holy. Shit. I totally came again!!!
D: Good Girl! That's how juicy and willing my little slut is! Keep going my nasty little daughter, Daddy needs your pulsing hole!!!!!!!
I need to hurt that wet pussy with all the inches Daddy has to give his perfect slut!
August 25th 11:50 PM
D: My dick is so long and Hard! I need to shove it down your throat and rape your tight little pussy!:-p
B: I rubbed my wet little slit dreaming of my sexy Daddy and his rock hard cock, this afternoon. I came rereading your super hot texts...Twice.
I love my Daddy very much, and only feel good when I am pleasing him, in every way.
I’m truly your submissive little slut.
D: Good Girl, you are Daddy's perfect little slut.
I need to worship and abuse my little slut and watch her finger herself while I lick around her lips and clit!!
I need to cum all over you!:-p
B: I want all your cum any where my Daddy wants to shoot it.
D:You are the most beautiful and sexy baby, I need you:)!!!!!!!!
August 26th 9:15 AM
B: My panties are so wet thinking about you. I’m playing with my little pussy again dreaming about you Daddy. And that big horse cock of yours. I’m fantasizing all kinds of filthy things you could do to me.
D: I can't Wait!! I need to hear you scream while I pound you with your pussy juice all over my long swollen horse cock!!! Mmmmm
B: I wish your fat cock was fucking my soaking wet pussy right now. I know I’d be coming over and over on that big dick. I’m so hot for you.
I want to be your obedient little slut and a good girl for my daddy. Give him whatever dirty thing he wants.
D: Me too sexy slut, my love, I want to so bad!!!:) Good girl, you are Daddy's perfect little slut and I have some things for you to do now!!
B: Order me around. Make me worship your cock.
D: Yes and I wanna get a big dildo to fuck yourself while I face fuck you and get ready to punish your soaking pussy hard!!
B: Whatever my daddy wants! I just want to make my daddy happy. I can’t wait to taste that fat cock in my mouth. It’s been so long since I’ve had daddy’s big cock shoved down my throat... I need it to be a happy, submissive girl for my darling Daddy.
D: I was watching some porn and dreaming that the girl was sucking my cock like you do! Only you can Take me all down your throat!! Confession: I love it when you choke on it!
I need to see you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)
B: Good, I love gagging on your big hard cock. It gets me so excited.
D: I swear you have made it Bigger
B: My favorite is when you are standing up and I’m on my knees. Or kneeling over me while I’m laying down.
D: When are you cumming to submit to my cock??????
B: God, I wish I could right now.
D: Me too!!!!!!:) so bad, I miss you sooooooo much!!!!!!! Can a guy get a smiley face or two from the girl he loves?? Lol
B: Baby, you’re getting so much more than emojis! ;)
D: I know I feel it! I just wanna hear how you love me and make you laugh a bit:) I have so much love for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I need some love and pussy emojis lol!!!
August 26th 7:28 PM
D: I just got into the second cologne: Monte Blanc Noir, you have to check it out and see if you like it, I do :)
B: I miss the way you smell so fucking much. God. That’s irresistible too...
I know as soon as I see you, and smell you, I’m going to want your hands all over me. And your kisses and, your snuggles, and your big, fat...
It’s not fair! How much you make me lose control. ;)
D: You have the same affect on me! So it is fair!:) bring your shirt and I can smell it up for you! BTW you know deep down that we were meant for each other!! We need to count our blessings!:):)
B: You’re so fucking romantic on top of it all! You drive me wild. Quite literally, sometimes.
D: You are so romantic too :) don't worry I'm gonna get you back and make you feel so good and we will look back and laugh! I love my special baby girl!!
August 27th 11:02 PM
D: I can't wait to get you drunk again and fuck Daddy's perfect little pussy till you are helpless and out there, while you gush all over my long cock going in and out of you hard!
B: Oh my God, Daddy. All I do is fantasize about you and your fat cock all day and rub my soaking wet little pussy for you.
I’m wet right now thinking about it while I’m out at a concert. I can’t stop thinking about Daddy’s big cock and how good he fucks his little girl.
D: :) good girl, I hope you are having fun
B: Not as much fun as I have when my Daddy loves me and fucks me...
D: That what I want my girl to tell her Daddy, he loves you to death and wants to possess you fully, and drink his drink while he licks your dripping pussy! The taste together would be Awesome!!:-p:-p
Sorry for the dumb typos but all my blood is in My Horse Cock!
We need to order a big dildo so Daddy can rape you with it and lick it clean while you jam my Hard meat down your wanton throat! Right slut?!!
B: Of course Daddy! Whatever pleases you is what I want! I would love very much for Daddy to fuck both my throat and pussy simultaneously. ;)This all sounds so hot, Daddy!
D: You are my perfect girl Baby!:) Don't forget it!!! PS, I love the scent of your pussy it drives me crazy! I wish I had your panties if not you to smell and cum on!! Mmmmm heheheee
B: That’s funny because I seriously love the smell of your cock. It always smell so fucking clean like soap, but also somehow pheromonal, like sex to come. It’s the best. I could almost smell it when you sent me that dick pic. I came this morning to that picture...
D: Also :) we are going to to all of that and more but I need you here to grab and hold down, silly! I'd ball gag you but I LOVE the sounds you make and what you say!! But maybe we need nipple clamps too?? Lol:-p
B: Oh my god, one of the extemporaneous fantasies I had about you while I was masturbating, was you fucking while you held down one of those big Hitachi vibrators on my clit, and made me cum over and over again on your cock. I almost forgot about that little closing gem! That sent me over the edge, as I recall.
D: I love when I pull out and you suck your pussy juice off my cock so I can get more!! We need to shop together my little girl:)
B: Cleaning Daddy’s cock is my favorite, favorite thing. It makes me feel like such a good, submissive little slut for you. I love worshiping at the altar of my Daddy’s thick cock.
D: I love you more than words can say my darling sub slut!! You talk big but you better cum and get on your knees and worship it and stop wasting your time...
B: Ha! Please. You know what a submissive, good girl I am, Daddy! You know I’m not just talking trash. I’ve sucked Daddy’s cock so many times, and let him fuck my little girl pussy whenever he wants it. I’ll show you, Daddy. Don’t you worry. I can’t wait for my Daddy’s hot load all over his submissive little slut bitch.
D: Cum give me more baby girl slut! I want to cum on you and my cock got even Harder when you called yourself the hot little slut bitch that you are! You are Daddy's fantasy. Period.
B: You are my fantasy, Daddy! I’m always dreaming about you, and the things I can do to make my Daddy happy. I love my Daddy so much! You make me soak through my lacy panties. I always want to make your cock hard, and please you, and satisfy you, and love you. I want to be your good girl, always.
Sometimes I get out of line and I just need Daddy’s cock to give me an attitude adjustment. To fuck me into submission.
D: It’s all good, my love. I need you my sweet loving romantic sugar pie! :)
You need to take off your wet panties for Daddy and wrap them around his swollen shaft and suck on his throbbing head and look up and tell him you love your Daddy! Mmmmm
I love you precious darling, night night:)
B: I can’t wait to please my Daddy! I love you. Night night.
August 29th 12:34 PM
D: We have to drink our champagne so I can fuck you
with the bottle!!:-p yummy
B: Hey! I thought no sexy talk until we can actually have sex! :P
D: I had that one saved since yesterday, sorry lol see you don't even know what you've been missing!:-p
B:I keep looking at that picture you sent me of your cock... It looks so fucking big and thick. I want to taste it so badly. It looks so beautiful and perfect and huge. I want my Daddy to fuck me with that mammoth cock; slap me around with it. Make me his submissive little girl for it.
I can’t wait. I can’t wait for you to fuck me. And I can’t wait to tell my daddy how much I love him and thank him for fucking his little girl so good and making me cum so many times.
August 30th 1:19 AM
D: PS Daddy's Big Fat Cock is throbbing for his little submissive baby girl!!>=)
I do want to slap you around with it! And make you gag on it like the little slut you love to be for Your Daddy:D
B:Go ahead and get some sleep, Daddy. :P
D:No doubt, I totally am after cumming thinking about fucking your ghetto booty!!!! Lol:-p yummy
B: Damn, I wish I was there to take all my Daddy’s cum...
D: I have been cumming so much for you!! I wish you were here to be covered in my hot loads!!
B: Believe me, I do too! I have been rubbing my wet little slit for you at least a couple times a day. I can do almost nothing else! I love my Daddy’s cum. And when I see my Daddy, I’m going to make him feel so good he’ll let me have his yummy load all over his little girl.
In fact, I’m going to get in bed and play with Daddy’s little pussy and dream of my sexy daddy and his thick, juicy cock that gets so hard for his wanton slut.
D:Good girl Baby! I love you my wet, sub slut. Daddy needs to abuse you and make you happy and squeal! Night night, hot pussy slut for Daddy
B:Night night sexy, big dick Daddy!
September 15th 2:36 AM
B: I can't stop thinking about my Daddy! I miss you so much. I just keep playing with my wet little snatch hoping Daddy will come back to sate me. The only thing that satisfies me is Daddy's big, monster cock. Why won't Daddy fuck his little girl???
Warren Zevon- Hostage-O
Part II- So Long Fucked Up Love & Thurston Howell the III
Ryan Adams- Hotel Chelsea Nights
This morning I woke up somewhere south of 7 AM. I couldn’t manage to find sleep, so I slipped my hand beneath my cotton panties, and I started to dream about you. I imagined us in your bed, as you commanded me this way or that, and you growled in my ear, that you wanted to stick your fat, veiny cock in my juicy cunt. Really more of a memory than a fantasy. I finally came when I imagined your deft fingers working in and out of my pussy, so that your bracelets jangle together in that way I find irresistible. I came so hard that I cried out, “Oh, Daddy!” Then immediately, I began just crying, slow, sad tears that trudged down my blushed cheek. All I could do was lament, “Oh Daddy...”
I wish this was something I poetically dreamt up, but it isn’t.. I really have such intense and mixed feelings for you, now. Between the pleasure and the pain, the love and lament; romance and ruin. You’ve seeped into my subconscious and I don’t know how to rid myself of you... Or even if I want to.
Tom Waits- Please Call Me Baby
I’m just so drawn to you, despite my best efforts at control. Or maybe we’re just so drawn to each other. There is something magical that happens, between us. Something inexplicable, and on my part at least, irresistible. We are slamming into codependence. Part of me wants to spin on this carousel with your forever. There are constant sparks, even if sometimes they are the dynamitic kind. I’m obsessed with you and the love you doused me with. You are a part of me, and I a part of you. Time drags without you, like sludge oozing by. You are excitement. A vibrant ribbon of color in an otherwise grey tableau. I am definitely addicted to the high of you, and that strange magnetism. I can’t seem to break free, even if in certain moments I want to, or must. Just to breathe the difference in the air. I can’t seem to stand the air without you; the air depleted of your magnetic charm. It’s dull and stuffy and lacking in oxygen-richness. Whatever Dennis Hopper is huffing in Blue Velvet; that’s your atmosphere.
You’re like heroine to me. You’ve made me a degenerate junkie for your love and cock. I know it’s fucking bad for me, but I just can’t stop sticking you in my veins. I need to kick the habit of you.
I’m sure there’s a stretched out asshole somewhere missing your dick. Either way we are probably fucked. So long, Thurston Howell the III.
*****
I’m just so drawn to you, despite my best efforts at control. Or maybe we’re just so drawn to each other. There is something magical that happens, between us. Something inexplicable, and on my part at least, irresistible. We are slamming into codependence. Part of me wants to spin on this carousel with your forever. There are constant sparks, even if sometimes they are the dynamitic kind. I’m obsessed with you and the love you doused me with. You are a part of me, and I a part of you. Time drags without you, like sludge oozing by. You are excitement. A vibrant ribbon of color in an otherwise grey tableau. I am definitely addicted to the high of you, and that strange magnetism. I can’t seem to break free, even if in certain moments I want to, or must. Just to breathe the difference in the air. I can’t seem to stand the air without you; the air depleted of your magnetic charm. It’s dull and stuffy and lacking in oxygen-richness. Whatever Dennis Hopper is huffing in Blue Velvet; that’s your atmosphere.
You’re like heroine to me. You’ve made me a degenerate junkie for your love and cock. I know it’s fucking bad for me, but I just can’t stop sticking you in my veins. I need to kick the habit of you.
I’m sure there’s a stretched out asshole somewhere missing your dick. Either way we are probably fucked. So long, Thurston Howell the III.
*****
Steely Dan- Rikki Don't Lose That Number
"The end is nigh, my darling." That's what you said to me that frigid night on your porch, as I shivered and trembled in front of you. I found it so terribly romantic at the time. And so god damn maudlin, which made it all the more romantic. Now it just seems kind of manipulative and weird. Like why didn't you invite me in? Or offer me some kind of blanket or coat, like you tried to push on me any other fucking time? You can be a real bastard, you know. And you do know. You'd rather feel sorry for yourself than actually change something to find happiness. To even allow happiness.
But let's face it; the end was always nigh for us. I knew it the moment you first contacted me. It felt like a spectacular disaster. It had that kind of momentum; that feeling. I just wish it was a little more spectacular. Kind of a let down, really. It just sort of deflated, instead of going out with a bang, it just sort of sighed. Or maybe more accurately, whimpered out through watery eyes.
"The end is nigh, my darling." That's what you said to me that frigid night on your porch, as I shivered and trembled in front of you. I found it so terribly romantic at the time. And so god damn maudlin, which made it all the more romantic. Now it just seems kind of manipulative and weird. Like why didn't you invite me in? Or offer me some kind of blanket or coat, like you tried to push on me any other fucking time? You can be a real bastard, you know. And you do know. You'd rather feel sorry for yourself than actually change something to find happiness. To even allow happiness.
But let's face it; the end was always nigh for us. I knew it the moment you first contacted me. It felt like a spectacular disaster. It had that kind of momentum; that feeling. I just wish it was a little more spectacular. Kind of a let down, really. It just sort of deflated, instead of going out with a bang, it just sort of sighed. Or maybe more accurately, whimpered out through watery eyes.
I always wanted you to be so much more than a stopover. You made me feel those lovey-dovey romantic feelings I thought I’d never feel again. You reminded me how much happier I am in love. Especially compared to indifference or bitterness. I would have loved you forever had you only been nice to me, like you promised.
I tried to tell you you would end up breaking my heart in the end. It’s just the way it is. You seem to know how life goes for you, and so do I. Everyone I ever love devastates me in the end. It’s inevitable. That’s why I burn so brightly, so intensely, because I know it’s slipping through my Byzantine fingers sooner rather than later.
I would have given you everything. Everything you could ever want from a lover and a friend. But you wanted to consume me. You took it for granted. And tainted it with your sourness. It wasn’t your feralilty that ruined this; it was your self-absorption and egomania. You may be empathetic, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t obsessed with yourself and your experience. You make everything about you. And then project it onto me. Even your neuroses aren’t as interesting as you think they are. I hate to break it to you, but you’re damaged just like the rest of us, brougham. Not in some special way either. In the same, old ordinary way we are all fucked up. And just trying to make it through.
Lyle Lovett- I Can't Love You Anymore
I suspect you don’t even really like me. That you were in love with the idea of me more than me as an actual being. And you certainly couldn't stand the idea of amounting to a lonely loser. Sometimes I think you’ve made it all up. Your love for me, how you feel about me in all the ways I found so unbelievably romantic. What if it was all an act? The final performance of a master manipulator. The swan song of a charismatic and intoxicating, but demonic hypnotist.
They Might Be Giants- Hypnotist of Ladies
You can't charm your way to validation. It has to come from within. It's never coming from without. I used to think you were so genuine and authentic. But now it all seems so schmoozy and superficial. The way you hang all over women, practically begging for their approval, on one hand, while belittling and deriding them in grand misogynist fashion on the other. It's pretty obvious why that is. Do you really think paying back every woman you meet for your less than ideal experience is ever going to really net you what you want? Is it ever going to lead to any type of happiness? Talk about a waste. Maybe you should start painting monsters. Since that seems to be your favorite thing.
I probably would have sank down with you forever to the point of no return. I was willing to throw it all away on an enigmatic stranger. We could have ruled the world. Fuck. We did for the briefest of moments, my darling. We owned that town; God damn you.
Townes Van Zandt- If I Needed You
Part III- Jack-Off of Hearts
December 29th 1:53 PM
D: Just take it easy on yourself and Get out of your Head!! Write or sew or... I'm here for you believe it or not, and I'm not going to let the day come when you regret leaving the love of your life, because you will... Take your time, I'm here for you day or night and I need to focus on my work... But I really need you to focus on Too!!:) I love you truly Baby, take it slow with me ok:)
By Spring at least, you will feel like you did just a mere few months ago! You'll see:)
Maybe I've said tooooo much as usual, I mean well, but look where its got me/us...I'll keep it to myself for you:) Good Night sweetheart
December 29th 8:22 AM
B: I fell asleep. Just saw these texts now.
I was just exhausted after that whole conversation. I feel totally emotionally drained. Each morning I wake up with the feeling of a hangover, even though I haven’t had a single sip to drink. I don’t feel well. I had terrible dreams all night. A lot of them about you. The basic gist of them being you ignoring me when I reached out to you for help.
I feel like you ripped my guts out last night. Just fucking curb-stomped another useless bitch. I called you last night because I missed you, because I felt like I couldn’t breathe without you, to apologize, and because I thought that maybe I was making a huge mistake not trying to work things out with you. And you treated me like I was the worst piece of shit that could have ever existed. Not even like an annoyance, but like I was worthless garbage. Crying, pathetic garbage sent to disturb your precious existence.
There is absolutely no excuse for that level of heartlessness. That was fucking evil. Evil isn’t caused by low-blood sugar, tiredness, or headaches. Crankiness, sure. Not unmitigated heartless cruelty. That’s like if you crawled up on my doorstep all bloody, battered, and bruised, just whimpering for help, and instead of a typical human response like, “Oh my God David! Come in here right now. Let me tend to your wounds, let me feed you, give you water, let me take you to the hospital,” I said something like, “You’re getting blood all over my porch, you degenerate bum. Get the fuck out of here!” And the I kicked your already bloodied face with my boot heel to roll you off my porch.
That’s how I fucking feel after reviewing the events of last night. I couldn’t even be half as callous and not even an ounce as cruel to my grandmother who tortured me my whole life. Because I’m just not evil. And I never wanted to become what she was. That’s why it was so important that I did get whatever she wanted that day. Because I could prove to myself that I didn’t have to ever be that. I do take pride in that.
I’m not worthless garbage and I didn’t deserve to be abused like that. No matter how mad or hurt you felt. And when you did reach out to me, I called or texted. But maybe just maybe, I stayed quiet because I was half-expecting that vicious response that I got last night. I guess my paranoia was worth something all along.
I’m shaking uncontrollably. I go through crying spells. I can’t eat. My sleep is severely disturbed. I am having a real physical reaction to this. I know you don’t care. You just care about what you’re going through. Too bad. Because I care about both of us. Plus my responsibilities as a mother and whatever obligation I have to the other important people in my life. I guess I’m just not that free.
I can say without exaggeration, the way you treated me last night was absolutely the worst anyone has ever treated me I my whole life. I never felt more like a worthless animal. And though that was the worst time, but not the first incident. It was the third or fourth time. So you should really think about that. Think about why you would ever do that to someone you supposedly love.
That was what my trepidation has been about this whole time. It’s clearly not unfounded. You have the ability and the power to send me spiraling downward. And instead of being judicious and wise with that power, you decided like most foolish humans when they get a taste of power to abuse it and go mad with it. As much as it pains you to admit I’m right; you sure have a knack for proving it so. And if you wanted to prove to me that you are a ceaseless monster; mission accomplished.
If you would like to discuss these things further face to face today, I can do that. But I would like to meet at a neutral place, like the coffee shop. So things can’t get too heated.
Angry phone call from D to B- 10:31 AM
Even angrier hang-up by D to B- 10:46 AM
10:48 AM
B: You’re the abuser. And you can’t handle some emotions standing up to you. You’re a bully. And like most bullies, when someone calls you out, you turn tail and run. I can’t respect a person who perpetuates the cycle of abuse. The buck should stop with the abused. But you fell into the trap of becoming the abuser. At least I’m brave enough to face you.
Voicemail D to B- 11:15 AM
There were a few things, I wasn't going to call you back because obviously you don't want to hear from me. But there were there was like The Dude, and a hair and a few things that I should call you and say something. But I can tell how things are. You're going to really regret this, like I have. And, uh, you know, so I'll fuck off to my paradise and you can fuck off to yours. And uh, when I'm dying we can both look back and see like if it was worth it. and uh, maybe one of us will have a good life I think you know maybe one of us WONT we'll...we'll just do it by ourselves. you know I really wanted to get together today and i was feeling really good about you but its the opposite. you know We worked things out and I thought we were gonna really talk and be together about things and really be level-headed. But no. You had sat there and thought all night and worked your whole thing against me and how terrible and how i hurt you the worst. Okay. that's what it is. Okay. And then what did i do? You know i thought good things about you and thought i was sorry i treated you that way. And wanted to go and see you hopefully, but I didn't expect to see you of course cuz when would I see you or anything? You don't ever want to see me. But then I wake up and its just, uh, good morning David, hear how- you're the biggest asshole in the world. You're the abuser. You suck. You know, why do you even fuckin'-exist? So I get it. I got it. Okay. I me- like I said, you know, like we'll just be apart, okay? And we'll find out who like has, you know, really, uh, has a great life. Because we can't be together.
11:58 AM
B: That second voicemail you left me was kinda fucked up. It scares me a little, D.
D: Please call me baby.
Post Script
Jesus, I can still remember everything about that afternoon in New York. Driving through Queens pointing out Ramones landmarks, turning our noses up in Williamsburg, eating fried chicken in Red Hook. Everything about that day was perfect; the subtle breeze, the color or the sky, and you. I never wanted anything so badly in my life as much as I wanted so desperately for one of those apartments to be ours. If you would have asked me to marry you at the moment, upend my life for you, move to Brooklyn on a whim to shack up in some makeshift artist's loft; I would have done it. Everything bit of it. Because at that moment, nothing mattered but you and I. My whole world was there with you, in this mind-blowing fantasyscape. Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can still feel those powerful arms wrapped tightly around my waist. That was the one place I thought nothing could hurt me.
Ryan Adams- New York, New York
"Had myself a lover who was finer than gold
But I've been broken up and busted up since...
And love won't play any games with you, anymore
If you don't wanna 'em to
The world won't wait and I watched you shake
But honey, I don't blame you
Hell, I still love you, New York"
Part III- Jack-Off of Hearts
December 29th 1:53 PM
D: Just take it easy on yourself and Get out of your Head!! Write or sew or... I'm here for you believe it or not, and I'm not going to let the day come when you regret leaving the love of your life, because you will... Take your time, I'm here for you day or night and I need to focus on my work... But I really need you to focus on Too!!:) I love you truly Baby, take it slow with me ok:)
By Spring at least, you will feel like you did just a mere few months ago! You'll see:)
Maybe I've said tooooo much as usual, I mean well, but look where its got me/us...I'll keep it to myself for you:) Good Night sweetheart
December 29th 8:22 AM
B: I fell asleep. Just saw these texts now.
I was just exhausted after that whole conversation. I feel totally emotionally drained. Each morning I wake up with the feeling of a hangover, even though I haven’t had a single sip to drink. I don’t feel well. I had terrible dreams all night. A lot of them about you. The basic gist of them being you ignoring me when I reached out to you for help.
I feel like you ripped my guts out last night. Just fucking curb-stomped another useless bitch. I called you last night because I missed you, because I felt like I couldn’t breathe without you, to apologize, and because I thought that maybe I was making a huge mistake not trying to work things out with you. And you treated me like I was the worst piece of shit that could have ever existed. Not even like an annoyance, but like I was worthless garbage. Crying, pathetic garbage sent to disturb your precious existence.
There is absolutely no excuse for that level of heartlessness. That was fucking evil. Evil isn’t caused by low-blood sugar, tiredness, or headaches. Crankiness, sure. Not unmitigated heartless cruelty. That’s like if you crawled up on my doorstep all bloody, battered, and bruised, just whimpering for help, and instead of a typical human response like, “Oh my God David! Come in here right now. Let me tend to your wounds, let me feed you, give you water, let me take you to the hospital,” I said something like, “You’re getting blood all over my porch, you degenerate bum. Get the fuck out of here!” And the I kicked your already bloodied face with my boot heel to roll you off my porch.
That’s how I fucking feel after reviewing the events of last night. I couldn’t even be half as callous and not even an ounce as cruel to my grandmother who tortured me my whole life. Because I’m just not evil. And I never wanted to become what she was. That’s why it was so important that I did get whatever she wanted that day. Because I could prove to myself that I didn’t have to ever be that. I do take pride in that.
I’m not worthless garbage and I didn’t deserve to be abused like that. No matter how mad or hurt you felt. And when you did reach out to me, I called or texted. But maybe just maybe, I stayed quiet because I was half-expecting that vicious response that I got last night. I guess my paranoia was worth something all along.
I’m shaking uncontrollably. I go through crying spells. I can’t eat. My sleep is severely disturbed. I am having a real physical reaction to this. I know you don’t care. You just care about what you’re going through. Too bad. Because I care about both of us. Plus my responsibilities as a mother and whatever obligation I have to the other important people in my life. I guess I’m just not that free.
I can say without exaggeration, the way you treated me last night was absolutely the worst anyone has ever treated me I my whole life. I never felt more like a worthless animal. And though that was the worst time, but not the first incident. It was the third or fourth time. So you should really think about that. Think about why you would ever do that to someone you supposedly love.
That was what my trepidation has been about this whole time. It’s clearly not unfounded. You have the ability and the power to send me spiraling downward. And instead of being judicious and wise with that power, you decided like most foolish humans when they get a taste of power to abuse it and go mad with it. As much as it pains you to admit I’m right; you sure have a knack for proving it so. And if you wanted to prove to me that you are a ceaseless monster; mission accomplished.
If you would like to discuss these things further face to face today, I can do that. But I would like to meet at a neutral place, like the coffee shop. So things can’t get too heated.
Angry phone call from D to B- 10:31 AM
Even angrier hang-up by D to B- 10:46 AM
10:48 AM
B: You’re the abuser. And you can’t handle some emotions standing up to you. You’re a bully. And like most bullies, when someone calls you out, you turn tail and run. I can’t respect a person who perpetuates the cycle of abuse. The buck should stop with the abused. But you fell into the trap of becoming the abuser. At least I’m brave enough to face you.
Voicemail D to B- 11:15 AM
There were a few things, I wasn't going to call you back because obviously you don't want to hear from me. But there were there was like The Dude, and a hair and a few things that I should call you and say something. But I can tell how things are. You're going to really regret this, like I have. And, uh, you know, so I'll fuck off to my paradise and you can fuck off to yours. And uh, when I'm dying we can both look back and see like if it was worth it. and uh, maybe one of us will have a good life I think you know maybe one of us WONT we'll...we'll just do it by ourselves. you know I really wanted to get together today and i was feeling really good about you but its the opposite. you know We worked things out and I thought we were gonna really talk and be together about things and really be level-headed. But no. You had sat there and thought all night and worked your whole thing against me and how terrible and how i hurt you the worst. Okay. that's what it is. Okay. And then what did i do? You know i thought good things about you and thought i was sorry i treated you that way. And wanted to go and see you hopefully, but I didn't expect to see you of course cuz when would I see you or anything? You don't ever want to see me. But then I wake up and its just, uh, good morning David, hear how- you're the biggest asshole in the world. You're the abuser. You suck. You know, why do you even fuckin'-exist? So I get it. I got it. Okay. I me- like I said, you know, like we'll just be apart, okay? And we'll find out who like has, you know, really, uh, has a great life. Because we can't be together.
11:58 AM
B: That second voicemail you left me was kinda fucked up. It scares me a little, D.
D: Please call me baby.
Post Script
Jesus, I can still remember everything about that afternoon in New York. Driving through Queens pointing out Ramones landmarks, turning our noses up in Williamsburg, eating fried chicken in Red Hook. Everything about that day was perfect; the subtle breeze, the color or the sky, and you. I never wanted anything so badly in my life as much as I wanted so desperately for one of those apartments to be ours. If you would have asked me to marry you at the moment, upend my life for you, move to Brooklyn on a whim to shack up in some makeshift artist's loft; I would have done it. Everything bit of it. Because at that moment, nothing mattered but you and I. My whole world was there with you, in this mind-blowing fantasyscape. Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can still feel those powerful arms wrapped tightly around my waist. That was the one place I thought nothing could hurt me.
Ryan Adams- New York, New York
"Had myself a lover who was finer than gold
But I've been broken up and busted up since...
And love won't play any games with you, anymore
If you don't wanna 'em to
The world won't wait and I watched you shake
But honey, I don't blame you
Hell, I still love you, New York"
