The only thing I understand about people is that I understand nothing about people. I don't fucking get them, they don't fucking get me. It's this thing we have. I've said it a thousand times: I feel like an alien among humans or the only human among a race of aliens. I just don't fucking fit in. And I've learned to accept that, (mostly), but sometimes, in these rare instances, I think I find a kindred spirit. What you people call a "friend." But even that is an illusion. I don't have many true friends, maybe because I have such stringent standards as to what that means. I have mostly acquaintances, because I'm not sure if they truly understand me, which I feel is intrinsic and invaluable to be termed a friend. I think I can count on one hand how many actual friends I have, and even that is being generous. It seems the rate of attrition for my friendships is laughably high. I gave up a long time ago on having what other people think of as friends. I guess I am unable to understand what friendship means, so friendships remain elusive and untenable to me. The only "friends" I've ever even thought I had turned out to be guys just wanting to fuck me, or even worse, guys secretly in love with me, save for maybe, two people. That's an abysmal percentage. It's me, obviously, seeing as I am the only common denominator. It's
fine. I'm unbearable unless I'm doing something for someone. Performing some act or task. Sex,
cooking, cleaning. That is my worth. Why keep fighting it?
So here's a bunch of songs that represent that dark and abstruse mood. Because I'm so fucking emo, man.
Blind Willie Johnson- Nobody's Fault But Mine
Tom Waits- Who Are You
Warren Zevon- Heartache Spoken Here
"I've had my share of disappointing love affairs. I'm no stranger to disillusionment, little darlin'."
Lloyd Price- Just Because
John Prine- Sweet Revenge
Alice Cooper- Only Women Bleed
Allen Toussaint- Cruel Way To Go Down
Bob Dylan- One More Cup of Coffee
Captain Beefheart- Where There's Woman
Dire Straits- Skateaway
Warren Zevon- For My Next Trick I'll Need a Volunteer
ELO- Midnight Blue
Elton John- Slave (Alternate Version)
The Mothers of Invention- Go Cry on Somebody Else's Shoulder
Jonathon Richman- She Doesn't Laugh At My Jokes
The Cramps- I Can't Hardly Stand It
They Might Be Giants- Hypnotist of Ladies
Sublime- One Cup of Coffee/Judge Not
Tom Waits- You Can Never Hold Back Spring
"Even though you've lost your way. The world is dreaming, dreaming of spring. Close your eyes. Open your heart, to the one who's dreaming of you."
Jeff Bridges- Maybe I Missed The Point
No comments:
Post a Comment