An Overwhelming Love

Sometimes I just can't exactly explain how much I love you. Sometimes these waves just wash over me, not just my mind, but my whole body. I feel this intense emotion, I guess which can only be described as mind-blowing love. There is a literal sensation that sweeps across my entire body, muscles contract, my eyes narrow, my extremities actually tingle and my jaw clenches. It is really strange. I have to wonder if anyone else experiences this. The funny part is, that half the time it is when you aren't even around. I can just listen to a song, maybe one I've never even heard before and my mind just reels. I get this flood of images, emotions, memories, fantasies about our life together, all at once. Things I used to feel, things I still feel, and things I want to experience with you. It's sort of like a climax that was pushed a little too long. It feels amazing, but it hurts a little too. Sometimes it is simply too much. Especially sitting alone somewhere, only with my swirling thoughts to comfort me. For me, who never seems to be at a loss for words, I can always come up with something to say, a way to describe, but it is increasingly difficult to articulate how much exactly I love you. It is so much more than love, it's an admiration, respect, caring, longing, loathing, jealous, pining, devotion, lusting, completely encompassing emotional whirlwind, that this laundry list of words could never accurately describe. It is the kind of love that just makes you want to squeeze someone forever. I don't know why, but when I am feeling this particular way, which always comes on suddenly and unexpectedly, the only thing I can think to do is squeeze you as hard as I can. I have no idea why I equate this fantastically crushing emotional cocktail with squeezing, but for some odd reason, I do. It somehow, in my subconscience, must be transfering all those things I can't articulate to you verbally through a nonsensical physical act. I wonder if you ever feel that way about me, this overwhelming sense of something you just can't quite finger. I thought the mundane quality of our day-to-day lives somehow diminished our sense of intense romantic love, but when this emotional downpour rains over me, it reminds me that our first few months of falling in love, those first few minutes, seconds even, are all still there, emblazoned in my mind and heart forever, waiting to be felt again, whenever my subconscience decides necessary.