I can't stop thinking about your granite cock. I can't stop thinking about the way your mouth and tongue played upon the nape of my neck, making me moan reflexively, like a helpless child. I conceded all power to you, in that moment. The way your rough, masculine skin, felt beneath my scintillated finger tips. I just want to wade in the iridescent blueness of your sorcery.
"Yeah, and on a night when the lazy wind is a-wailing, around the Cutty Sark, the single-handed sailor goes sailing, sailing away in the dark." ~ Mark Knopfler Single-Handed Sailor
The thought of your fat cock in my mouth. Throat-fucking me. Tasting every inch of you; running my tongue from the thick base of your dick, slowly up to swollen head, rubbing the tip across my lips, before allowing myself to devour its entirety. I just want to worship at the alter of your cock. And the ultra-satisfying moment when I can feel your orgasm building as it courses through your rock-hard shaft, you throw your head back against the wall; contorting your body, and unloading in my waiting mouth. "This is the best blowjob I've ever had in my life, baby. You are such a good girl. You're my good little girl, baby."
"And yawning under all those bowls was the upturned mouth of the biggest bowl of them all...a regular Beelzebub of a bowl, bone dry and insatiable...waiting, waiting, waiting for that first sweet drop." ~ Kurt Vonnegut, The Sirens of Titan
I fucking need your contact high. I haven't eaten or slept in days, yet my energy is being culled from an ancient source. My primal id need only feast on unadulterated passion. I'm running on primordial fumes of debased, animal lust. I just want to be your good little sex bunny; to make you so happy and sate your every appetite.
I want to burn with that event horizon. The flash of intense heat and light that streaks across the nocturnal inked sky, illuminating the universe for only the briefest of seconds. And in that withering second all is revealed, and every emotion that ever existed is felt.
"Everything that ever has been always will be, and everything that ever will be has always been." ~Winston Niles Rumfoord
As if the true romantics aren't always awaiting their next spectacular disaster. Maudlin sadomasochists like us need reasons to feel like shit about ourselves so all is right with the world. I know I can come off tough, or cool, or like a jaded fuckdoll, but I'm truly delicate; so vulnerable. So if you plan on wrecking me, you better do it in thrilling fashion. Make the pain worth my while. Smash me into a thousand little pieces. Just rip me asunder; tear me open, mother fucker. Because I can't handle some half-ass heartbreak. I don't want any coy bullshit; cut me with the full length of your rusted blade of furor.
"The love song must resonate with the susurration of sorrow, the
tintinnabulation of grief...for just as goodness cannot be trusted
unless it has breathed the same air as evil..." ~Nick Cave, on love and pain
How can I go back to a tedious, decaying life, once I've bore witness to the burning grease fire that is you? I could very easily get addicted to that level of chaos. To your intoxicating freneticism; this blurry ribbon of color in a sea of dull nobodies. My drug of choice.
"Come writers and critics who prophesize with your pen, and keep your eyes wide, the chance won't come again." ~ Bob Dylan, The Times, They Are A-Changin'
You saw what you wanted and you fucking took it. Like it always should have been yours. Bravado, the slightest hint of arrogance, abstraction, sentiment, and raw sexual power.
The way you slick your hair back with both hands greased in sweat and my desire, as you kneel over me. Cavalierly aware you are in total control. You lean in and slither into my ear, "I wanted to fuck your ass as soon as I saw you standing over the jukebox. I knew I was going to fuck you from the first second I saw you."
"You are my sex goddess, aren't you? My little nymph." It echoes in my head, taking me right back to that indigo-gray tableau. Your engorged, throbbing cock impaling my trembling little slit, making me whimper and beg for more.
"Shake it, Sugaree. I'll meet you at the jubilee. And if that jubilee don't come, baby, I'll meet you on the run." ~ Jerry Garcia, Sugaree
Watching you stride in, looking so fucking cool; devil-may-care, like the lost New York Doll. The crimson incandescence of the dive bar, the shudder I felt when you
put your hand on the small of my back in those first minutes, playing records. The way you ran your hand up the alabaster smoothness of my legs, unafraid. I knew I would let you kiss me, and touch me; I wanted your poison. Walking through the desolate, mist-shrouded streets, along the train tracks. Vampires of the night; drawing the other's blood. The inherent symbolism in handing you my keys. Feeling like we already knew each other. Maybe in another life, or just somewhere in the dark recesses of our subconscious; longing for some negative astral phantasm of ourselves.
"The night's too quiet stretched out alone. I need the whip of thunder and the winds dark moan." ~Tom Waits, Make It Rain
Wednesday, August 16, 2017
Saturday, March 4, 2017
The Road to Hell is Paved With Good Intentions
The following treatise was written in the fall of 2016, in response to a series of situations and bizarre goings-on, that had tormented my landscape, after I had exhausted every other reasonable possibility or solution I could think of. The impetus for this particular writing was that my husband, wanting to move some equipment out of his parents' house, was subjected to a barrage of chastisements, guilt-trips, and manipulations, culminating with his family actually sending a hand-written letter to him, in the creepiest and most humiliating fashion possible; through the God-damned piano movers, charged with moving said equipment. Because, you know, email is so complicated, and, uh, discreet.
I held back on publishing this piece because I didn't want to create any more of a back-and-forth. I just wanted them to leave us alone. But I see that is impossible now; there is no high road in trench warfare. The sheer amount of bullshit, cut-from-whole-cloth lies, and projection that has been whispered, slurred or stuttered to every bar fly to ever hold up a stool in the tri-county area, about me and my little family, has been officially confirmed, by someone who doesn't want to get in the middle of it, of course. (But alas, I think that ship has sailed.) It's not like I didn't already think that, based on the behaviors and demeanor of those I casually came into contact with. It's not like I didn't have any inkling; all I ever had were inklings. I just didn't have corroboration for my hunches. And now I do.
I really don't care for childish shit like this. It's stupid, illogical, and doesn't solve any problems; only perpetuates them. But that's how most people like to handle things, I guess. I'm in the minority. You'd think, at some point, in middle age or beyond, people would be able to evolve past adolescent whims. But, nah. So if you can't beat 'em, join 'em! Am I right?
For the record, I may be a lot of things, but a couple of things I am not is illogical nor dishonest. I've built my whole philosophy around truth-seeking, mainly because my brain, or my conscience, wouldn't allow it any other way. These are concepts I take very seriously; they aren't catty rumors to shoot the shit with over tequila shots. The things I have written here are the truth, interwoven with my observations about those truths and the devastation it has caused. I've tried several times to solve this problem; directly, and in person, with the people involved. *I* made that effort, even though the onus wasn't on me to do so. I did that because my husband was hurting, and his hurting was in turn hurting my daughter and I. And the bullshit kept piling up; it was inescapable. It put a huge strain on our marriage, which, I'm sure, was the penultimate goal. There was this creepy undertone to the whole affair, like I was the mistress and his mother was the wife he would never leave. Try dealing with that nastiness.
The other parties involved did not make any effort, beyond bald-faced lies and/or shirking of responsibility. I am not going to be the scapegoat for years of dysfunction and psychological abuse. There was 40 years of problems mounting before I even met any of these players. A person doesn't turn to multiple addictions because they are so happy and fulfilled with their life. Sorry, but that's the truth. I've had to learn more about addiction, dysfunctional family dynamics, and enmeshment than I've ever cared to. But I did so in an effort to educate myself in hopes that my husband and I could work out some of these problems, for some semblance of happiness, and at the very least, for the sake our child. So she doesn't have to grow to be a fucked-up adult, unable to cope with life's lemons.
On what planet, is a mother going to allow her child to be around people that not only think it wise to badmouth that mother, but think it is acceptable to manipulate the father, and use the child as a pawn in a sick, selfish game? The only rumor floating around that they got right, was that my daughter doesn't have any contact with my husband's parents. Because I don't trust them. And my daughter isn't going to be around anyone I don't trust. Her safety and well-being is paramount. It is my job to protect her from this type of thing. Honestly, I punish myself for not making that decision sooner. I tried so hard to be agreeable, and reasonable, and just extricate myself. But that wasn't enough. She shouldn't be subjected to people and situations in which too many red flags persist. Without trust, forgiveness doesn't even come into play.
I was fine with just letting this lie, but others were not. I've asked several times to be left alone by these people, as I don't want anything to do with people that think I'm such an awful, brain-washing, adulterous cunt. But still they pestered, manipulated, harassed; showing up at events, sending unwelcome, "anonymous" packages in the mail, attempting to cajole my widowed mother on several occasions with sob stories and bribes, and spreading lies to anyone stupid enough to listen. We don't want gifts or bribes, because it's too little, too late for that. They didn't feel the need to get our daughter so much as a Christening gift back before the falling out; so why these gifts now? Hollow holiday packages aren't going to erase the damage or pain caused by repeated selfishness, abject schemes, and obvious double-dealing. But it sure would be a great way to look like the poor, underappreciated grandma, cast aside by cruel ingrates, without ever having to walk the walk. "I send them gifts, and flowers, and cards; I never even get so much as a 'thank you.'" There are no 'thank yous' forthcoming because, we've repeatedly asked them to stop sending us things. That request is not respected, at all. How is that demonstrating some change of heart? How does that demonstrate that things will be different this time around? These are just tiny straws upon the heap of horseshit that led to this very measured distance.
Further, if everyone out there cares about my husband as much as they purport to, why is just calling him up and asking him how he is doing, so fucking hard? And, why would I ever, even once, have to be the conduit? Unless the motivations are less than pure, like trying to cause problems, for sinister amusement or revenge. Also, what must these people think of their so-called friend, if they believe these stories about him being some hen-pecked weenie. That's not exactly complimentary to this dear friend of theirs. Ugh. Why does everything and everyone have to be so creepy and weird?! Why all the subversion? Why all the secrets and whispers? How is that friendship? How is that family? How is that love? Why would it ever have to get to this point? Again and again. This carousel never stops.
If I was all these things they said I am, why does Chris stay? He is not a prisoner here. He's not tethered to the fucking wall. I'm the one home every day and every night with our daughter, while he is out at his party job. It's not exactly working in a coal mine. What type of prison allows the inmates out on the town, while the warden and the guards are stuck behind the prison walls? That's one hell of a sentence. I'm not some vindictive, calculating shrew with an axe to grind. I'm a genuine person, once full of love, now full of obligation, but I'm certainly no one's whipping boy. Nor do I want a whipping boy of my very own. I wanted a partner. I've given every fucking thing I have to make this family work, even my sanity. If I didn't truly love my husband, why would I subject myself to this garbage? This petty, spiteful, callow creepiness. What would be the fucking point? Why not just turn him loose? Why not just leave this disturbing, incestuous vortex as far behind me as possible? This isn't a fucking joke, God damn it. You're trifling with things that actually matter to me. Things that are vital to my daughter's development. Things that I've built my whole life around. That he's centered his world around. Things that are pure, and good, and genuine. Why wouldn't I defend them, go to bat for them, with everything I have?
This is my response to all the allegations and manipulations.
*****
It must be great to live in a complete fantasy world where nothing is ever your fault and things only happen *to* you. Never because of you. So you are free to glean all the sympathy and negative attention you can manipulate from others in an effort to satisfy some scorned part of you. That brand of crazy must be nice. Just hit the old crack pipe and the world can become whatever contorted trash you dream up. Never having to deal with any pesky bouts of conscience or self-awareness; thereby removing all risk of shame and any roadblocks put up by trifles like decency or morality. Personality disorders are supremely efficient that way.
The New York Dolls- Personality Crisis
I held back on publishing this piece because I didn't want to create any more of a back-and-forth. I just wanted them to leave us alone. But I see that is impossible now; there is no high road in trench warfare. The sheer amount of bullshit, cut-from-whole-cloth lies, and projection that has been whispered, slurred or stuttered to every bar fly to ever hold up a stool in the tri-county area, about me and my little family, has been officially confirmed, by someone who doesn't want to get in the middle of it, of course. (But alas, I think that ship has sailed.) It's not like I didn't already think that, based on the behaviors and demeanor of those I casually came into contact with. It's not like I didn't have any inkling; all I ever had were inklings. I just didn't have corroboration for my hunches. And now I do.
I really don't care for childish shit like this. It's stupid, illogical, and doesn't solve any problems; only perpetuates them. But that's how most people like to handle things, I guess. I'm in the minority. You'd think, at some point, in middle age or beyond, people would be able to evolve past adolescent whims. But, nah. So if you can't beat 'em, join 'em! Am I right?
For the record, I may be a lot of things, but a couple of things I am not is illogical nor dishonest. I've built my whole philosophy around truth-seeking, mainly because my brain, or my conscience, wouldn't allow it any other way. These are concepts I take very seriously; they aren't catty rumors to shoot the shit with over tequila shots. The things I have written here are the truth, interwoven with my observations about those truths and the devastation it has caused. I've tried several times to solve this problem; directly, and in person, with the people involved. *I* made that effort, even though the onus wasn't on me to do so. I did that because my husband was hurting, and his hurting was in turn hurting my daughter and I. And the bullshit kept piling up; it was inescapable. It put a huge strain on our marriage, which, I'm sure, was the penultimate goal. There was this creepy undertone to the whole affair, like I was the mistress and his mother was the wife he would never leave. Try dealing with that nastiness.
The other parties involved did not make any effort, beyond bald-faced lies and/or shirking of responsibility. I am not going to be the scapegoat for years of dysfunction and psychological abuse. There was 40 years of problems mounting before I even met any of these players. A person doesn't turn to multiple addictions because they are so happy and fulfilled with their life. Sorry, but that's the truth. I've had to learn more about addiction, dysfunctional family dynamics, and enmeshment than I've ever cared to. But I did so in an effort to educate myself in hopes that my husband and I could work out some of these problems, for some semblance of happiness, and at the very least, for the sake our child. So she doesn't have to grow to be a fucked-up adult, unable to cope with life's lemons.
On what planet, is a mother going to allow her child to be around people that not only think it wise to badmouth that mother, but think it is acceptable to manipulate the father, and use the child as a pawn in a sick, selfish game? The only rumor floating around that they got right, was that my daughter doesn't have any contact with my husband's parents. Because I don't trust them. And my daughter isn't going to be around anyone I don't trust. Her safety and well-being is paramount. It is my job to protect her from this type of thing. Honestly, I punish myself for not making that decision sooner. I tried so hard to be agreeable, and reasonable, and just extricate myself. But that wasn't enough. She shouldn't be subjected to people and situations in which too many red flags persist. Without trust, forgiveness doesn't even come into play.
I was fine with just letting this lie, but others were not. I've asked several times to be left alone by these people, as I don't want anything to do with people that think I'm such an awful, brain-washing, adulterous cunt. But still they pestered, manipulated, harassed; showing up at events, sending unwelcome, "anonymous" packages in the mail, attempting to cajole my widowed mother on several occasions with sob stories and bribes, and spreading lies to anyone stupid enough to listen. We don't want gifts or bribes, because it's too little, too late for that. They didn't feel the need to get our daughter so much as a Christening gift back before the falling out; so why these gifts now? Hollow holiday packages aren't going to erase the damage or pain caused by repeated selfishness, abject schemes, and obvious double-dealing. But it sure would be a great way to look like the poor, underappreciated grandma, cast aside by cruel ingrates, without ever having to walk the walk. "I send them gifts, and flowers, and cards; I never even get so much as a 'thank you.'" There are no 'thank yous' forthcoming because, we've repeatedly asked them to stop sending us things. That request is not respected, at all. How is that demonstrating some change of heart? How does that demonstrate that things will be different this time around? These are just tiny straws upon the heap of horseshit that led to this very measured distance.
Further, if everyone out there cares about my husband as much as they purport to, why is just calling him up and asking him how he is doing, so fucking hard? And, why would I ever, even once, have to be the conduit? Unless the motivations are less than pure, like trying to cause problems, for sinister amusement or revenge. Also, what must these people think of their so-called friend, if they believe these stories about him being some hen-pecked weenie. That's not exactly complimentary to this dear friend of theirs. Ugh. Why does everything and everyone have to be so creepy and weird?! Why all the subversion? Why all the secrets and whispers? How is that friendship? How is that family? How is that love? Why would it ever have to get to this point? Again and again. This carousel never stops.
If I was all these things they said I am, why does Chris stay? He is not a prisoner here. He's not tethered to the fucking wall. I'm the one home every day and every night with our daughter, while he is out at his party job. It's not exactly working in a coal mine. What type of prison allows the inmates out on the town, while the warden and the guards are stuck behind the prison walls? That's one hell of a sentence. I'm not some vindictive, calculating shrew with an axe to grind. I'm a genuine person, once full of love, now full of obligation, but I'm certainly no one's whipping boy. Nor do I want a whipping boy of my very own. I wanted a partner. I've given every fucking thing I have to make this family work, even my sanity. If I didn't truly love my husband, why would I subject myself to this garbage? This petty, spiteful, callow creepiness. What would be the fucking point? Why not just turn him loose? Why not just leave this disturbing, incestuous vortex as far behind me as possible? This isn't a fucking joke, God damn it. You're trifling with things that actually matter to me. Things that are vital to my daughter's development. Things that I've built my whole life around. That he's centered his world around. Things that are pure, and good, and genuine. Why wouldn't I defend them, go to bat for them, with everything I have?
This is my response to all the allegations and manipulations.
*****
It must be great to live in a complete fantasy world where nothing is ever your fault and things only happen *to* you. Never because of you. So you are free to glean all the sympathy and negative attention you can manipulate from others in an effort to satisfy some scorned part of you. That brand of crazy must be nice. Just hit the old crack pipe and the world can become whatever contorted trash you dream up. Never having to deal with any pesky bouts of conscience or self-awareness; thereby removing all risk of shame and any roadblocks put up by trifles like decency or morality. Personality disorders are supremely efficient that way.
The New York Dolls- Personality Crisis
I know I've heard the word crazy thrown in my direction over the years. But I'm not crazy, I'm neurotic. There's a big difference. That difference lies in a hypersensitivity and a hyper-awareness. In fact, I think the word neurotic is just academic shorthand for painfully aware of their own shortcomings. And in most cases, a compulsive need to overachieve to make up for those shortcomings. Neurotics take too much responsibility for things, in an attempt at control, whereas crazy narcissists take none at all. Typically, neurotics tend to be ambitious, Type A personalities, whereas personality disorder types tend to be crazy, flighty, loser-y messes that can never quite amount to anything. Because they don't seek improvement. In their own eyes they are perfect. And how does one improve upon perfection?
Ween- Happy Colored Marbles
You don't get to perpetuate this bullshit with impunity. You could have taken the breaks and bowed out gracefully. You could have gave a shit, listened, and took it seriously. You chose not to. How many character attacks, lies, manipulation and years did it take for me to fire back? To fight fire with fire? Almost three years, this has been going on. Ratchet-Face "is not the first girl she's run out on a rail." ~JSJ on your family patterns, one night at Northern Lights. How lovely. You all thought I'd be easy pickin's. The old chestnut 'mistook my kindness for weakness' seems germane. But maybe it was more like you mistook my apathy for successful manipulation. I'm the type of person that keeps most people at arm's length. Only a very select few get to know the parts of me that I give a shit about. The rest is just fun and games, really, in the interest of wasting time, and harmony. But really, arm's length was even too close for you people. It's also too bad "reputation" and whatever bullshit people think of me doesn't matter much. But it certainly shows your true colors. You thought somehow you could badmouth someone, spread lies about them, try to hurt them, meddle in their marriage, hurt their child and that you would somehow still come out smelling like a god-damned rose? When you act that vile and crazy, you're bound to be exposed.
Further, if you all cared about him so much and you really believed all this bullshit about me "brainwashing" him, then why didn't any of you try to reach out to him, call him, email him, text him, or better yet rescue him? It's seems like a lot of armchair quarterbacking for such a serious problem...[cue world's biggest fucking eye roll.] No one ever even bothered to call him just to ask how he's doing. Not once, yet extended family members' opinions sure abound. Isn't that quaint? Yet, that is what everyone claims their big concern is. That they just care about Chris, so they are saying this shit. Uh-huh. That sure is a funny way of showing you care about someone. To completely ignore them, and attack their spouse (or in your eyes, "spousal problem") to try and cause misery. Yeah, that's not fucking crazy, or drama-fueled at all... I know you know you're full of shit. You have to. You know you're fucked up. You know you fucked him up. You know you've tried to break up all his relationships, including my marriage. You just don't want other people to know what you did. It's understandable, since it is so deplorable.
Drive-By Truckers- Assholes
It's all about image and looks. And as a secondary benefit in your effort to not look like the assholes you really are, you're lapping up all the sympathy your distended bellies can hold. It's a little hard to believe you're "suffering in silence" or dealing with this with a "quiet stoicism" yet everybody (and their brother!) knows about it and is trying to get (albeit, lazily) involved. Yet, again, no one bothered to ask Chris about how he feels. Funny. I guess your word is absolute gospel. No other side to the story, no sir. I certainly hope you divulged all gory details about the emotional incest, how you made him your surrogate husband when yours wasn't cutting the mustard. How you hated any one that Chris was with, how you would arbitrarily and unilaterally compete with them for his love, call them by previous girlfriends' names, and tried to undermine those relationships at every turn. Or how you begged to babysit my infant daughter, several times, but wouldn't feed her or change her diaper any of those times. And still asked to babysit again! You must think I am really fucking stupid. How about when you snuck into the house when we weren't home to leave articles on the desk to persuade Chris to put Dolly to sleep on her stomach after your constant nagging about it didn't work. Even though EVERYONE, even people without kids, know you put babies to sleep on their backs to prevent SIDS. (Seriously, psychos look it the fuck up). It seems like you wanted something to happen there. Too much competition for ya?
The Ramones- Danny Says
I hope you told them about how you jerked Chris around about his substance abuse problems. Advocating that he not see a therapist because "there are a lot of quacks out there." And you would know, because you've lined the pockets of plenty of them! And that he was "not stumbling down the street" or "sleeping under a bridge," (I thought that was trolls?) so he must be fine, and therefore doesn't need help for his addictions. Even when he told you face to face the problems he was suffering with, you pretended to understand and care, and then turned your back on him again. Then he poured his heart out to you in letters that you never bothered to respond to. I've never seen such selfishness in my whole life. And I've known some really shitty people. To be so narcissistic as to deny your son has a problem, so he won't go to treatment, so no one ever has to find out how badly you fucked him up. So no one would find out your deep, dark secrets.
Shel Silverstein- I Got Stoned and I Missed It
I would find it kind of hilarious, if it wasn't so sad, that the only tool in your belt is manipulation by guilt. That's one of the main reasons he doesn't want a relationship with you. The constant manipulations. Which he's spelled out to you. Many times. In letters and conversations. He's learned to recognize the manipulations for what they are, but it doesn't stop it from hurting him. Yet that's the tactic you've chosen to employ time and time again, and then have your henchmen employ, when your manipulations were falling flat. What a fucking joke, man. Do you see how ridiculous that makes you all look? You seem like you'll go to any shameless length available to try to get him back into "the family" clutches. Those all-important, so-desirable family clutches, that smells a lot like a creepy cult. All but one length, of course. The only one that really matters or could have some effect; fundamental behavioral change!
Allen Toussaint- Chokin' Kind
Specifically, oh I don't know, taking responsibility for all the trouble you deliberately tried to cause in an effort to suit your own selfish needs, with a complete disregard for the needs of others, including, but not limited to, your grandchild. And, uh, you know, NOT FUCKING DOING IT ANYMORE! But oh no. You're right. It's better to keep widening that gap, which is the size of the Grand fucking Canyon by now, with even more derision, delusion, and manipulation. You refuse to listen to him, which shows how little you care about him. That's why he's not coming back. He doesn't feel loved or supported. He feels used and abused. He never knew the difference before. He does now. Because that's not how genuine love works. It's not conditional and brimming with guilt. With a bunch of sycophantic praise piled on top to keep him strung out and on-edge. It's not full of lies and secrets. It's not creepy and inappropriate. You didn't want him getting help because you wanted him to remain helpless. To manipulate and control your little protege.
Allen Toussaint- Chokin' Kind
Specifically, oh I don't know, taking responsibility for all the trouble you deliberately tried to cause in an effort to suit your own selfish needs, with a complete disregard for the needs of others, including, but not limited to, your grandchild. And, uh, you know, NOT FUCKING DOING IT ANYMORE! But oh no. You're right. It's better to keep widening that gap, which is the size of the Grand fucking Canyon by now, with even more derision, delusion, and manipulation. You refuse to listen to him, which shows how little you care about him. That's why he's not coming back. He doesn't feel loved or supported. He feels used and abused. He never knew the difference before. He does now. Because that's not how genuine love works. It's not conditional and brimming with guilt. With a bunch of sycophantic praise piled on top to keep him strung out and on-edge. It's not full of lies and secrets. It's not creepy and inappropriate. You didn't want him getting help because you wanted him to remain helpless. To manipulate and control your little protege.
You don't get to treat people like absolute garbage, then wheedle around for sympathy from others, when those you abused don't want to talk to you anymore. Who told you it worked like that? Sounds a lot like emotional Munchausen's By Proxy. You go around deliberately acting nasty and being abusive, and when those you abused get fed up and tell you to fuck off, you then get all sorts of attention and sympathy from family, friends, or basically anyone who will listen to your self-inflicted, bogus tales of woe about how your son is an ungrateful asshole because his wife brainwashed him not to love you. Yeah, that sounds plausible. It couldn't possibly have anything to do with your own shitty, narcissistic, crazed behavior that caused him to turn to substance abuse and sex addiction in the first place, long before I ever knew him, lady. Nope! That's too logical! And as much as I think your husband is a sexist, selfish asshole who should have been there for his son instead of up his own ass; I sure see why he wanted to go to the bar every night to get drunk! You're fucking nuts, lady. No one could handle that shit. There are Buddhist monks that would crack under your regime. Yikes! Your son didn't stand a chance.
Merle Haggard- Tonight The Bottle Let Me Down
Also, how could EVERY FUCKING GIRL he's ever dated be wrong for him? Every last one. Your dysfunctional family was the only constant within all of those relationships, the girlfriends were the variables. You all were the common denominators, not me. So, how could this be all my fault, when you had problems with every single person he dated? You bad mouthed every one of them, to me, in person. Sometimes when we would go to the zoo, or Greenfield Village, or other times at the botanical gardens on Belle Isle, or on one of your outings to the thrift store you'd drag me along to. Yeah, remember all those activities? He said you never did any of those things with the "other" girlfriends. I have to wonder why that is. I asked him about it, he said it was because he was so excited about me that he told you guys that it was serious this time; really hyped it up. That was his first fucking mistake. He and I both thought you wanted to forge an actual friendship at first; he, because he didn't want to believe you were that awful and manipulative, and I, because I didn't fucking know any better. I didn't know any of you or the fucked-up dynamic I was walking into. But I do know now, it has been bullshit from jump street.
Uncle Tupelo- So-called Friend
I see now it was a subversive tactic, to keep your friends close and your enemies closer. You weren't exactly reinventing the wheel, but it sure fooled me, for a while. You should actually be ashamed of yourself. You aren't. But you should. All you guys do is take advantage of people for your own personal gain. Chris has done it to me so many times. I see where he gets it from. The rotten apple doesn't fall far from the demented tree. You have no fucking feelings, conscience or remorse. It's like you're these soul-sucking, callous robots. Everything you do is clunky and loud. You're not expert con men. You're amateurs who take emotional advantage of cornered people in sensitive situations. You are just grasp-at-straws, two-bit hustlers, letting your feelings get in the way of success every god damned time. That's how you ended up in the position you are in now.
Sublime- Foolish Fool (Acoustic)
Merle Haggard- Tonight The Bottle Let Me Down
Also, how could EVERY FUCKING GIRL he's ever dated be wrong for him? Every last one. Your dysfunctional family was the only constant within all of those relationships, the girlfriends were the variables. You all were the common denominators, not me. So, how could this be all my fault, when you had problems with every single person he dated? You bad mouthed every one of them, to me, in person. Sometimes when we would go to the zoo, or Greenfield Village, or other times at the botanical gardens on Belle Isle, or on one of your outings to the thrift store you'd drag me along to. Yeah, remember all those activities? He said you never did any of those things with the "other" girlfriends. I have to wonder why that is. I asked him about it, he said it was because he was so excited about me that he told you guys that it was serious this time; really hyped it up. That was his first fucking mistake. He and I both thought you wanted to forge an actual friendship at first; he, because he didn't want to believe you were that awful and manipulative, and I, because I didn't fucking know any better. I didn't know any of you or the fucked-up dynamic I was walking into. But I do know now, it has been bullshit from jump street.
Uncle Tupelo- So-called Friend
I see now it was a subversive tactic, to keep your friends close and your enemies closer. You weren't exactly reinventing the wheel, but it sure fooled me, for a while. You should actually be ashamed of yourself. You aren't. But you should. All you guys do is take advantage of people for your own personal gain. Chris has done it to me so many times. I see where he gets it from. The rotten apple doesn't fall far from the demented tree. You have no fucking feelings, conscience or remorse. It's like you're these soul-sucking, callous robots. Everything you do is clunky and loud. You're not expert con men. You're amateurs who take emotional advantage of cornered people in sensitive situations. You are just grasp-at-straws, two-bit hustlers, letting your feelings get in the way of success every god damned time. That's how you ended up in the position you are in now.
Sublime- Foolish Fool (Acoustic)
You now treat his wife and daughter like they don't exist. (After the manipulation/trickery, then the garbage treatment didn't work.) Yeah, that's not going to work either. We are his family. Fucking chew on that. You try to separate him from the herd in an effort to lure him back into your fold(s). He had that. He wanted out and he got out. He doesn't want back in. He doesn't want to be accepted back into the family "with open arms." Especially if that means he leaves his wife and daughter behind. You really don't get it, do you? The messages aren't being received. Someone in that twisted brain of yours is censoring your mail. He doesn't want a relationship with you because it is *awful.* He's not torn. He's relieved. Do you understand? Fucking relieved!!! That level of dysfunction, the narcissism, the emotional incest: it all took a devastating toll on him and in turn my daughter and I. He doesn't want that gross inappropriateness. What person in their right mind would? ( Another reason to keep him on drugs, right?!)
Tom Waits- House Where Nobody Lives
I know he allowed you to believe it was me, (as was your knee-jerk reaction, as to not have to take responsibility for your dirty deeds) for a time, so he could come out smelling like a rose too, get sympathy from you, whilst not really have to deal with you; guilt-free. It was the best of all possible worlds for him. He definitely played a role in this breakdown, no question. He was just following the long-standing family tradition. You were all manipulating and scamming each other, simultaneously and continually. Which is kind of fucking hilarious. And fucking pathetic. You can keep trying to blame me, but you know damn well it wasn't me. That's why the family mouthpiece is conspicuously silent this time around. You are the villains. And you have been from the start, I just didn't know it then. He told me he couldn't go back even if he wanted to, because he can't unsee the things he's seen. He can't recover the things he's uncovered. I see why you didn't want him digging around in his brain for answers. Why you'd rather teach him to pretend and hold all his emotions in; so you could do whatever you wanted to him without fear of reprisal. It's pretty hard to "brainwash" a forty year old man, set in his ways. But it's a hell of a lot easier to brainwash an impressionable child starved for love and affection. So it seems rather interesting that's the accusation you keep throwing my way. Textbook projection.
Tom Waits- A Good Man is Hard to Find
This vilification is also getting you no where. It's actually impeding any type of progress. I didn't start one fucking part of this. And I'm not taking the blame for your son or any of you. Fuck that and fuck you for trying to pin this on me. I'm not your fucked-up family's scapegoat. I was quiet for a while, because I just wanted to be left alone. And the best way to beat a manipulator or a shit-starter is to completely deny access. But you just wouldn't fucking quit. You kept on trying to fuck with me, you kept right on fucking with your son any way you could, and you thought using my daughter as a pawn to tug at the heartstrings of those around me was going to get you somewhere, other than burning in hell. That was a mistake. Fucking huge. You want to keep talking trash, then I guess I'm just going to have to take to the bully pulpit. I'm not going to let you break up my family. To make us miserable like you. I'm not going to let you spread your filthy cover-up lies to everyone to make me look like the villain and you like some pitiable martyr anymore.
Ry Cooder- Waitin' For Some Girl
You should have left us alone. Instead you decided to continue your reign of terror. You don't care about that son you purport to miss so much. You just care about yourself. He's not missing out on some great relationship with you. You're the ones missing out on a relationship with him. He can breathe for the first time in his life. Your madness sucks all the oxygen out of the room. You're completely out of your mind; totally irrational. And no one can deal rationally with an irrational lunatic. You were given chances to make this right, and you chose to talk out of both sides of your mouth instead. You chose to double-down on the guilt and manipulation, instead of making some sort of concerted effort or even keeping your word. You chose to believe you were more deserving than everyone; that your happiness was paramount, so you didn't need to take into account the words your son or I spoke to you. You chose to put on that tired song-and-dance act, instead of taking a hard look at yourself to see how to improve the situation. You chose to deny his feelings, not to mention mine, and to deny the truth, so you could keep up this charade that provides you with that sympathy you crave so deeply. That shows there is no fixing this. That shit is on you. You fucked up, repeatedly. I tried. He eventually tried. You didn't try. No one else tried. Simple. Simple. Simple.
John Lennon- Gimme Some Truth
I'm fed up with your bullshit. I have been for a long time. Chris has been for years, but only recently did he have the strength to do anything about it. Why should he keep subjecting himself to your abuses? I can't respect people like you because you don't respect anyone but yourself. You think somehow, you are more deserving than everyone else. And you're an especially egregious offender because you wrap it all up on this 'wronged little old lady' package to not only get away with these depraved offenses, but to suck up all the sympathy you can scrounge, for the (deserved) backlash that eventually befalls you. What a load of horseshit.
Lucinda Williams- Price to Pay
Bottom line: you weren't on board with Chris' life choices so you staged a mutiny. You didn't want him getting sober, you didn't want him getting married, you didn't want him having a family of his own, you didn't want me moving in with him. (Or anyone) At weast not without askwing his mommy fwirst... So you decided to mutiny. But your coup attempt backfired. You lost. You were made to walk the plank instead of me. Now I'm sure you're sore from all that water you've had to tread and the sun baking your sagging skin, but mutineers aren't allowed back on board. Sorry. Those are the rules. The trust has been obliterated. You swung for the fences, but you struck out. That's the way the cookie crumbles. There is no taking it like a gentleman, I suppose. How many more metaphors crammed into this will it take to get you to fucking understand? But really, I'm foolish to think that a crazed, egomaniacal mutineer would have any ethics to begin with. Let alone ones to fall back on in the face of an embarrassing defeat.
Warren Zevon- Mutineer
I also find it particularly piquant that you bitch and bitch about Chris not talking to you, but when he does try to communicate with you, you shut him down at every turn. You try to cut him off, or interrupt; never bothering to listen. Or you simply just ignore him. He'll send you emails or texts, and all he gets back is radio silence. You've got some damn nerve. Go fuck yourself, lady. He's poured his heart out to you many times; you didn't even think twice about double-crossing him. "Fuck him for not kissing my ass for all that I did for him, right?" But it's really more about the stuff you did to him, not for him. And it's certainly not about what he "should" be doing for you, and according to you. In general, people tend to not like to be around people that are miserable sons-of-bitches all the time. It makes them feel shitty, and they don't like it, so they tend to avoid situations and people that make them feel that way. That's why guilt is employed; it's the only way to keep them coming back for more abuse. It's just sort of a natural pattern I've observed. Consider it a helpful tip from me to you. And stop lamely acting surprised that this happened. It's fucking stupid. It is the obvious result of that kind of self-serving, depraved, and greedy behavior.
Jonathan Richman- You Can't Talk to the Dude
Tom Waits- A Good Man is Hard to Find
This vilification is also getting you no where. It's actually impeding any type of progress. I didn't start one fucking part of this. And I'm not taking the blame for your son or any of you. Fuck that and fuck you for trying to pin this on me. I'm not your fucked-up family's scapegoat. I was quiet for a while, because I just wanted to be left alone. And the best way to beat a manipulator or a shit-starter is to completely deny access. But you just wouldn't fucking quit. You kept on trying to fuck with me, you kept right on fucking with your son any way you could, and you thought using my daughter as a pawn to tug at the heartstrings of those around me was going to get you somewhere, other than burning in hell. That was a mistake. Fucking huge. You want to keep talking trash, then I guess I'm just going to have to take to the bully pulpit. I'm not going to let you break up my family. To make us miserable like you. I'm not going to let you spread your filthy cover-up lies to everyone to make me look like the villain and you like some pitiable martyr anymore.
Ry Cooder- Waitin' For Some Girl
You should have left us alone. Instead you decided to continue your reign of terror. You don't care about that son you purport to miss so much. You just care about yourself. He's not missing out on some great relationship with you. You're the ones missing out on a relationship with him. He can breathe for the first time in his life. Your madness sucks all the oxygen out of the room. You're completely out of your mind; totally irrational. And no one can deal rationally with an irrational lunatic. You were given chances to make this right, and you chose to talk out of both sides of your mouth instead. You chose to double-down on the guilt and manipulation, instead of making some sort of concerted effort or even keeping your word. You chose to believe you were more deserving than everyone; that your happiness was paramount, so you didn't need to take into account the words your son or I spoke to you. You chose to put on that tired song-and-dance act, instead of taking a hard look at yourself to see how to improve the situation. You chose to deny his feelings, not to mention mine, and to deny the truth, so you could keep up this charade that provides you with that sympathy you crave so deeply. That shows there is no fixing this. That shit is on you. You fucked up, repeatedly. I tried. He eventually tried. You didn't try. No one else tried. Simple. Simple. Simple.
John Lennon- Gimme Some Truth
I'm fed up with your bullshit. I have been for a long time. Chris has been for years, but only recently did he have the strength to do anything about it. Why should he keep subjecting himself to your abuses? I can't respect people like you because you don't respect anyone but yourself. You think somehow, you are more deserving than everyone else. And you're an especially egregious offender because you wrap it all up on this 'wronged little old lady' package to not only get away with these depraved offenses, but to suck up all the sympathy you can scrounge, for the (deserved) backlash that eventually befalls you. What a load of horseshit.
Lucinda Williams- Price to Pay
Bottom line: you weren't on board with Chris' life choices so you staged a mutiny. You didn't want him getting sober, you didn't want him getting married, you didn't want him having a family of his own, you didn't want me moving in with him. (Or anyone) At weast not without askwing his mommy fwirst... So you decided to mutiny. But your coup attempt backfired. You lost. You were made to walk the plank instead of me. Now I'm sure you're sore from all that water you've had to tread and the sun baking your sagging skin, but mutineers aren't allowed back on board. Sorry. Those are the rules. The trust has been obliterated. You swung for the fences, but you struck out. That's the way the cookie crumbles. There is no taking it like a gentleman, I suppose. How many more metaphors crammed into this will it take to get you to fucking understand? But really, I'm foolish to think that a crazed, egomaniacal mutineer would have any ethics to begin with. Let alone ones to fall back on in the face of an embarrassing defeat.
Warren Zevon- Mutineer
I also find it particularly piquant that you bitch and bitch about Chris not talking to you, but when he does try to communicate with you, you shut him down at every turn. You try to cut him off, or interrupt; never bothering to listen. Or you simply just ignore him. He'll send you emails or texts, and all he gets back is radio silence. You've got some damn nerve. Go fuck yourself, lady. He's poured his heart out to you many times; you didn't even think twice about double-crossing him. "Fuck him for not kissing my ass for all that I did for him, right?" But it's really more about the stuff you did to him, not for him. And it's certainly not about what he "should" be doing for you, and according to you. In general, people tend to not like to be around people that are miserable sons-of-bitches all the time. It makes them feel shitty, and they don't like it, so they tend to avoid situations and people that make them feel that way. That's why guilt is employed; it's the only way to keep them coming back for more abuse. It's just sort of a natural pattern I've observed. Consider it a helpful tip from me to you. And stop lamely acting surprised that this happened. It's fucking stupid. It is the obvious result of that kind of self-serving, depraved, and greedy behavior.
Jonathan Richman- You Can't Talk to the Dude
We are a family unit. We actually love each other. Despite everything. Most of the time we just make dumb jokes, laugh, and snuggle on the couch. It's not a big heap of bullshit like with you all. There isn't a bunch of creepy secrets we have to dance around, so we can actually relax. That's why honesty is the best policy. Cheesy as that phrase is, those after-school specials were right! Most of our problems stem from Chris' lifelong abuse. Dealing with him and his insecurities is a full-time job. He needs real love, but he also needs brutal honesty. Neither of those you could provide for him. He likes to take, take, take, but all he does is hem and haw when it comes to giving. It's like he isn't fully formed, just like a boy. I feel very weird having to teach him things that my parents taught me when I was like five.
Leo Sayer- Giving It All Away
He is like this wounded bird I am responsible for because he has attached himself to me. He's like this pitiable pain-in-the-ass that I have to take care of. I feel responsible for his well-being because I was the one that disillusioned him. And because he is the father of my child, and she doesn't deserve to have her father be emotionally distant or bankrupt. I feel like he would be mince meat, back there, in that seedy world. He has no coping skills other than getting high in an effort to forget and pretend like things are fine. His coping skills consisted of smoke, mirrors, and self-puffery. Now he has to deal with his emotions straight up, and it's an agonizing ride. Because he doesn't have many healthy coping mechanisms, I think anger or fear take over, most of the time. He really was terrified of you that day in the Village. He wanted to hide in that CVS, not me. But I went along with it because I didn't want to push him. He wasn't ready to confront you, so we just disengaged. Dolly doesn't need to be a part of that, anyway. I don't want my daughter around a bunch of lying, selfish, delusional pricks. They make for shit role-models. And I don't want to be around that horseshit either. You keep right on lying to yourselves, and anyone within earshot, but it's not going to get you out of this mess. Keep beating that tired drum, because you sure are drawing a lot of attention to yourselves, exposing yourselves even further. There is no contrition, so there is no forgiveness.
Lyle Lovett- God Will
Leo Sayer- Giving It All Away
He is like this wounded bird I am responsible for because he has attached himself to me. He's like this pitiable pain-in-the-ass that I have to take care of. I feel responsible for his well-being because I was the one that disillusioned him. And because he is the father of my child, and she doesn't deserve to have her father be emotionally distant or bankrupt. I feel like he would be mince meat, back there, in that seedy world. He has no coping skills other than getting high in an effort to forget and pretend like things are fine. His coping skills consisted of smoke, mirrors, and self-puffery. Now he has to deal with his emotions straight up, and it's an agonizing ride. Because he doesn't have many healthy coping mechanisms, I think anger or fear take over, most of the time. He really was terrified of you that day in the Village. He wanted to hide in that CVS, not me. But I went along with it because I didn't want to push him. He wasn't ready to confront you, so we just disengaged. Dolly doesn't need to be a part of that, anyway. I don't want my daughter around a bunch of lying, selfish, delusional pricks. They make for shit role-models. And I don't want to be around that horseshit either. You keep right on lying to yourselves, and anyone within earshot, but it's not going to get you out of this mess. Keep beating that tired drum, because you sure are drawing a lot of attention to yourselves, exposing yourselves even further. There is no contrition, so there is no forgiveness.
Lyle Lovett- God Will
Post Script:
The funniest part of all this, to me, is your cheap tactic of claiming I'm the "real" manipulator. Boy, it just stinks to high hell. Because that would mean, I've pulled off some sort of long-form con that is nothing short of genius. Because I have texts, and emails, and time-stamped Facebook conversations from so many of the incidents. It would have taken this immense and brilliant forethought to have been able to dream all that up, set the stories into motion at just the right times, then cover my tracks by talking to friends about it over text or FB messenger. By telling the exact same story, at the proper time, to my therapist, my doctor, and my parents. Just so I could have an extensive and damning paper trail, replete with first-hand reports from healthcare professionals. All while "brainwashing" your impeccably-raised, supremely intelligent son, somehow, inexplicably defying his wonderfulness with my nefarious brilliance and allure. Do you understand the magnitude and scale of something like that? And, I would have had to pull it off all by myself. That would make me some kind of evil mastermind, to which a lot of fucking credit would be due. I mean if I did all that, could a fascist dictatorship be far behind? Why I am wasting these illuminating and intricate skills on just being a stay-at-home mom? When I could be taking over the world!!! Or maybe, just maybe, the shit really did go down this way; I'm telling the truth, and you guys really are just fucking lying, conniving assholes. My money is on the latter. Especially seeing as how I had zero motive to do any of this. There is no money, no power nor fame. There isn't even anything masquerading as love to be gained. But you and your family certainly have a motive for causing trouble and lying. You also have a history of this pattern of behavior, not only with your son's previous relationships and marriage, but your brothers' marriages too. You cut this problem out of whole cloth. You created this rift with your hysterical flailing. You're not pinning this on me or him, no matter how hard you try. Ironically, in an effort to hide what fruitcakes you actually are, you have this hilarious tendency to make yourselves look even more insane. Nobody wants to listen to your shit, anymore, least of all, your son.
The Casinos- Then You Can Tell Me Goodbye
Tuesday, February 28, 2017
Agent Orange: The Presidency Thus Far Part I- January and February
The following is a collection of various essays, rants, commentaries, and scathing indictments of Donald Trump's administration, policies, the campaign that got him the White House, and the political climate at large. There are also links to various articles, or "fake news" in Trump-speak, which seems is anything reported about him that he doesn't like, (which surely is hard to keep up with.) There is some excellent journalism out there, that is actually trying to hold the administration accountable, which is the entire point of the First Amendment that guarantees a free press. The essays are listed from most current to least.
2/27/17
I'm just thinking out loud here, but it seems to me that so many things come down to sex, or lack thereof. Maybe if people, especially politicians, and these fringe assholes, were getting laid a little more, they could be a little less, oh I don't know, embittered toward the entirety of humanity. They could maybe just *pause* that egomaniacal, greedy and/or violent shit-heel part of themselves. If we could just override these out-moded, repressive sexual tendencies, that the right seems to be especially fond of, perhaps we could make some headway. (Pun so fucking intended.)
McCain on shutting down press: That's how dictators get started -The Hill
Another surprising example of odd allies coming forward.
Chris Wallace Grills Priebus on Trump’s ‘Enemy’ Tweet: ‘You Don’t Get to Tell Us What to Do’ -Mediaite from Fox News
2/19/17
So really enjoyed this 70 degree weather, today. Totally devoid of any climate change elements. Climate-change deniers are sooo right. It's always been this warm. In February. In Michigan. We've always had more rain than snow. Never had permafrost winters. With huge piles of snow that didn't melt until May. It's so weird that George Soros would implant false weather memories in us liberals' brains. How low will they stoop? I mean, really. It's getting absurd. All these fake scientists making up fake facts, broadcast by the fake news media. And fake NASA. Everyone knows that anecdotal evidence is all we need to form 'real American' opinions. And the anecdotal evidence suggests it's fucking warmer than before. Therefore, it must have always been. The burning of fossil fuels don't even emit carbon. It's a known alternative fact. They emit rainbows and pure testosterone! Typical liberal media bias, never reporting on the testosterone-emitting benefits of fossil fuels. So WRONG! I'm like a really smart person, okay. And my rantings will NOT be questioned. Above reproach, okay. Bigly.
A response from a climate change denier named Randy: I knew someone would bring this up so I looked up the record for yesterday. It was 62 in 1976. So please explain why it is no warmer than 1976.
My rebuttal: Um, Randy, that was my point exactly. Climate-change deniers, among all kinds of other science-denying groups, like to use anecdotal evidence to try to reassure themselves, or sway public opinion that what peer-reviewed science says isn't true, but their uninformed opinion, that lacks experience or education, is not only equally valid, but superior. It would be laughable if it wasn't so terrifying. So, I decided, to use that same tactic, against them, in a satirical, midnight ramble. It was my smart-ass response to things like snowballs on the Congressional floor as proof that climate change is not taking place.
Sen. James Inhofe (R-OK) Snowball in the Senate (C-SPAN)
Further evidence:
Further, you should read this meta-study on the cumulative effects of carbon emissions and the burning of fossil fuels. It is not light reading, but it is informative, and unequivocal. There are also plenty of charts and graphs, that illustrate the point. It is also the definitive study cited by governments worldwide as their main call-to-action. The man-made rise in fossil fuel usage since the industrial revolution is responsible for the overall warming of the earth, degree by degree, year after year. Though climate changes are a natural process, they are being sped up, significantly, by the sheer amount of carbon emissions.
Climate Change 2007: Synthesis Report
Climatologists, biologists, ecologists; they don't really have a motive to lie about climate change. We all know they didn't go into the deep sciences for fame and glory. Scientists aren't household names. But we do have hugely powerful, multi-billion-dollar fossil fuel companies, entire industries, centered around the burning of these fossil fuels with a direct and substantial profit motive.
Why would anyone lie about climate change? I could think of a trillion-dollar reason.
Also, here is what those do-gooder morons over at NASA have to say. Bunch of NASsholes, really.
NASA Climate Change Facts
2/17/17
Even Fox News is calling you out, there Donny! This is at least the second time Shep Smith called out Trumpy on Russia, on air. The first was after it was established that the Russians unequivocally tampered with our election, and Trump was still denying it (he eventually acquiesced, after much waffling). Man, maybe the word 'hero' is too much, but strange allies are starting to emerge. Megyn Kelly, now Shep Smith. Maybe they are getting mighty tired of their life's work being called "fake news" by a guy that single-handedly keeps self-tanner companies in business.
Shepard Smith Calls President Trump’s Press Conference ‘Crazy’ -Yahoo from Fox News
2/16/17
Why would a "hard-charging patriot" turn down the job of National Security Advisor? Think about that, for a while. People are giving Agent Orange, a *wiiiiide* berth.
Robert Harward turns down Trump's offer to be national security adviser -The Guardian
2/15/17
Another domino in the Trump administration falls. Wage-miser and super creep Andrew Puzder is out! This is truly stranger than fiction.
Andrew Puzder Withdraws From Consideration as Labor Secretary -The New York Times
2/14/17
That sure didn't take long... General Flynn is the first casualty in the bumbling Trump administration. Do you really think Trump didn't give him the okay on talking about lifting the sanctions??? Come the fuck on. Flynn was forced to resign, by Steve Bannon, no less! Yikes! This whole bunch gives me the creeps.
2/27/17
I'm just thinking out loud here, but it seems to me that so many things come down to sex, or lack thereof. Maybe if people, especially politicians, and these fringe assholes, were getting laid a little more, they could be a little less, oh I don't know, embittered toward the entirety of humanity. They could maybe just *pause* that egomaniacal, greedy and/or violent shit-heel part of themselves. If we could just override these out-moded, repressive sexual tendencies, that the right seems to be especially fond of, perhaps we could make some headway. (Pun so fucking intended.)
So, let's be real, it's not like these bozos are any stranger to women
of the night, so why not use that to advance the greater good? We
create something of a hybrid Super PAC slash non-profit. Something with
a long convoluted named, like Americans for Economic Prosperity, or
some bullshit, but in actuality it would be more like Prostitutes for
Progress. "Doing the job that *no one* and we mean no one, wants to
do!"
Not only are these women, (or men, whatever the case may be,) pumping the ol' economic stimulus, but while they have these folks in such a vulnerable position, you know, by the dick, as it were, they could sort of coyly imbue them with little statistics or factoids; indoctrinate them with some empathy, during or post-coitus. Just try to educate them when they are at their most open. And we are creating jobs!
If people were busy knockin' boots, then perhaps, they wouldn't be out committing hate crimes or passing oppressive legislation. I guess what I'm trying to say is the people spewing the most vile vitriol look like hideous ghouls. Take gin-soaked Bannon or that Stephen Miller asshat, for example- hell Newt Gingrich; they're not exactly what you would call "lookers." (How that elephant seal Gingrich ever managed to get three separate women to sleep with him, is beyond me.) It's never the George Clooneys of the world spouting off about racial superiority or the pitfalls of third-wave feminism.
I don't know. I'm out of other ideas on how to deal with this level of aggression. It will not stand, man! But maybe our closest living relatives; the bonobos could teach us a thing or two. Or maybe this is the most insane idea I've ever had.
2/26/17
Looks like your boy is a chickenshit. Widdle Donny-Wonny is such a tough guy; he's going to defeat ISIS, deport millions of illegals, and bring back coal-mining! But he can't handle a few comics. "Waaaahhh! Ivanka, they're making fun of me!" And I guess it might be hard to face a room full of people you've just tweeted as America's enemy. Never mind that whole First Amendment thing.
Cannabis industry roiled by White House comments on enforcement -USA Today
2/23/17
Man, I really like and respect this Pope. I haven't been interested in Catholicism for many years, but I have to say, he's got a way of really spelling it out. And I enjoy his off-the-cuff style. He is logical, and smart. I hope he can counter some of this bullshit Trump's administration is setting off. Pope Francis is an actual humanitarian.
Pope suggests 'better to be atheist than hypocritical Catholic' -Reuters
2/19/17
In this dizzying state of eroded democracy we seem to be slithering toward, odd allies and heroes are bound to emerge.
Senator McCain to Chuck Todd, "A fundamental part of that new world order was a free press. I hate the press, I hate you especially, but the fact is we need you, we need a free press."
Unlikely bedfellows indeed...
Not only are these women, (or men, whatever the case may be,) pumping the ol' economic stimulus, but while they have these folks in such a vulnerable position, you know, by the dick, as it were, they could sort of coyly imbue them with little statistics or factoids; indoctrinate them with some empathy, during or post-coitus. Just try to educate them when they are at their most open. And we are creating jobs!
If people were busy knockin' boots, then perhaps, they wouldn't be out committing hate crimes or passing oppressive legislation. I guess what I'm trying to say is the people spewing the most vile vitriol look like hideous ghouls. Take gin-soaked Bannon or that Stephen Miller asshat, for example- hell Newt Gingrich; they're not exactly what you would call "lookers." (How that elephant seal Gingrich ever managed to get three separate women to sleep with him, is beyond me.) It's never the George Clooneys of the world spouting off about racial superiority or the pitfalls of third-wave feminism.
I don't know. I'm out of other ideas on how to deal with this level of aggression. It will not stand, man! But maybe our closest living relatives; the bonobos could teach us a thing or two. Or maybe this is the most insane idea I've ever had.
2/26/17
Looks like your boy is a chickenshit. Widdle Donny-Wonny is such a tough guy; he's going to defeat ISIS, deport millions of illegals, and bring back coal-mining! But he can't handle a few comics. "Waaaahhh! Ivanka, they're making fun of me!" And I guess it might be hard to face a room full of people you've just tweeted as America's enemy. Never mind that whole First Amendment thing.
But seriously
folks, I'm sure he just didn't want to follow President Obama's act.
Those are big shoes to fill. His Correspondent's Dinner speeches are
legend. That guy has a fantastic sense of humor, and some of the best,
if not *the* best, dry comedic timing I've ever heard.
I'm sure Alternative Slim will be busy golfing, anyway. Though, he should try fucking jogging.
Trump Will Be First President In 36 Years To Skip White House Correspondents' Dinner -NPR
2/25/17
And here you pro-birthers thought this was some deeply-held personal belief. Turns out, it was just another scheme to get you to vote against your own interests. Man! That suuucks. Your belief is rooted in segregation! Or more accurately, the anti-desegregation movement. The same rednecked, archaic assholes are leading the movement today. What a shock. Fat, white, and impotent. Freud was right, so much depends on sex. Or lack thereof. When someone isn't getting any, they go on the warpath. We've all been there. But, these unfuckable losers haven't gotten any since the Eisenhower administration, and they are bound and determined to make *every* body pay for it. History is fun.
It Wasn’t Abortion That Formed the Religious Right. It Was Support for Segregation. -Slate
2/23/17
So, most of you know that I really don't drink or do drugs, which I guess makes me a bit of a lame teetotaler. But even though the legalization of marijuana doesn't affect me or my lifestyle, I still have strong feelings about it. (Que suprise!) At this point, it should just be legalized nation-wide; regulated and taxed, as I don't see it being any worse than alcohol or cigarettes, which no one seems hellbent on criminalizing. (Not yet, anyway.) But at the very least, it should be left up to the states. Especially the ones that already voted to legalize it.
Remember when Republicans were for *smaller* government? This administration is only for smaller government when it allows the plutocracy and billion-dollars industries to cash in on that so-called smaller government. Deregulation of business and banking, deregulation of the EPA, deregulation of the FDA. They can cut all the taxes for the top 1%, pollute the hell out of the country/planet, allow greed to run rampant throughout corporations and banks unchecked; allowing for another recession like in 2008, reinstate the for-profit prison system, dismantle public schools in favor of the proven shitty voucher system, institute hypocritical fundamental Christian "values," build that stupid waste-of-billions wall, and deport every illegal in the country, but they certainly can't do it under the guise of smaller fucking government. They are extending the federal government's reach to new depths of depraved greed and perverse bullshit.
So why would an administration that is so obviously for capitalism at all costs, want to limit legitimate, taxable businesses? Why would they be for larger government, that supersedes states rights? (Those all-important, Civil War-starting, states rights!) And now bother American citizens with their Marijuana Gestapo? Hmmm, I wonder. The more laws this administration has on the books to intimidate, hassle, investigate, and incarcerate working class citizens, the better. That for-profit prison system line item would come in real handy too. And so would the prosecuting of American minorities for minor drug possession offenses. So would the prosecuting of American majorities, who happen to be recreational pot-smoking Democrats. It's like the fucking 1960's all over again. If you don't have a crew cut, a corporate stooge job, and a set of golf clubs, look out! You are the enemy, now. They will eventually run out of illegals to deport, and they need to set their sights on some fresh meat. Dirty, no-good hippies, with their long hair, and free-thinking will be just the ticket. This administration isn't going to be happy until we are all basically Pat Boone.
Also, this won't do SHIT for the opioid epidemic, that is taking over not only cities, but mostly rural, backwater burgs. The gateway drug into opioid addiction is prescription fucking painkillers, not weed. You know, things like fat fuck Rush Limbaugh's drug of choice: Oxycontin. So, yeah, Speecy Spicy; this is *really* going to fucking help with that. And then you can dismantle the Affordable Care Act, so your own fucking supporters strung out on heroine in WhoGivesAShitsville Kentucky can't get any fucking treatment. Thanks again, Trump voters, for making our slowly progressing nation into a third world authoritarian hellhole as fast as you can say, "Make America Great Again."
I'm sure Alternative Slim will be busy golfing, anyway. Though, he should try fucking jogging.
Trump Will Be First President In 36 Years To Skip White House Correspondents' Dinner -NPR
2/25/17
And here you pro-birthers thought this was some deeply-held personal belief. Turns out, it was just another scheme to get you to vote against your own interests. Man! That suuucks. Your belief is rooted in segregation! Or more accurately, the anti-desegregation movement. The same rednecked, archaic assholes are leading the movement today. What a shock. Fat, white, and impotent. Freud was right, so much depends on sex. Or lack thereof. When someone isn't getting any, they go on the warpath. We've all been there. But, these unfuckable losers haven't gotten any since the Eisenhower administration, and they are bound and determined to make *every* body pay for it. History is fun.
It Wasn’t Abortion That Formed the Religious Right. It Was Support for Segregation. -Slate
2/23/17
So, most of you know that I really don't drink or do drugs, which I guess makes me a bit of a lame teetotaler. But even though the legalization of marijuana doesn't affect me or my lifestyle, I still have strong feelings about it. (Que suprise!) At this point, it should just be legalized nation-wide; regulated and taxed, as I don't see it being any worse than alcohol or cigarettes, which no one seems hellbent on criminalizing. (Not yet, anyway.) But at the very least, it should be left up to the states. Especially the ones that already voted to legalize it.
Remember when Republicans were for *smaller* government? This administration is only for smaller government when it allows the plutocracy and billion-dollars industries to cash in on that so-called smaller government. Deregulation of business and banking, deregulation of the EPA, deregulation of the FDA. They can cut all the taxes for the top 1%, pollute the hell out of the country/planet, allow greed to run rampant throughout corporations and banks unchecked; allowing for another recession like in 2008, reinstate the for-profit prison system, dismantle public schools in favor of the proven shitty voucher system, institute hypocritical fundamental Christian "values," build that stupid waste-of-billions wall, and deport every illegal in the country, but they certainly can't do it under the guise of smaller fucking government. They are extending the federal government's reach to new depths of depraved greed and perverse bullshit.
So why would an administration that is so obviously for capitalism at all costs, want to limit legitimate, taxable businesses? Why would they be for larger government, that supersedes states rights? (Those all-important, Civil War-starting, states rights!) And now bother American citizens with their Marijuana Gestapo? Hmmm, I wonder. The more laws this administration has on the books to intimidate, hassle, investigate, and incarcerate working class citizens, the better. That for-profit prison system line item would come in real handy too. And so would the prosecuting of American minorities for minor drug possession offenses. So would the prosecuting of American majorities, who happen to be recreational pot-smoking Democrats. It's like the fucking 1960's all over again. If you don't have a crew cut, a corporate stooge job, and a set of golf clubs, look out! You are the enemy, now. They will eventually run out of illegals to deport, and they need to set their sights on some fresh meat. Dirty, no-good hippies, with their long hair, and free-thinking will be just the ticket. This administration isn't going to be happy until we are all basically Pat Boone.
Also, this won't do SHIT for the opioid epidemic, that is taking over not only cities, but mostly rural, backwater burgs. The gateway drug into opioid addiction is prescription fucking painkillers, not weed. You know, things like fat fuck Rush Limbaugh's drug of choice: Oxycontin. So, yeah, Speecy Spicy; this is *really* going to fucking help with that. And then you can dismantle the Affordable Care Act, so your own fucking supporters strung out on heroine in WhoGivesAShitsville Kentucky can't get any fucking treatment. Thanks again, Trump voters, for making our slowly progressing nation into a third world authoritarian hellhole as fast as you can say, "Make America Great Again."
Cannabis industry roiled by White House comments on enforcement -USA Today
2/23/17
Man, I really like and respect this Pope. I haven't been interested in Catholicism for many years, but I have to say, he's got a way of really spelling it out. And I enjoy his off-the-cuff style. He is logical, and smart. I hope he can counter some of this bullshit Trump's administration is setting off. Pope Francis is an actual humanitarian.
Pope suggests 'better to be atheist than hypocritical Catholic' -Reuters
2/19/17
In this dizzying state of eroded democracy we seem to be slithering toward, odd allies and heroes are bound to emerge.
Senator McCain to Chuck Todd, "A fundamental part of that new world order was a free press. I hate the press, I hate you especially, but the fact is we need you, we need a free press."
Unlikely bedfellows indeed...
McCain on shutting down press: That's how dictators get started -The Hill
Another surprising example of odd allies coming forward.
Chris Wallace Grills Priebus on Trump’s ‘Enemy’ Tweet: ‘You Don’t Get to Tell Us What to Do’ -Mediaite from Fox News
2/19/17
So really enjoyed this 70 degree weather, today. Totally devoid of any climate change elements. Climate-change deniers are sooo right. It's always been this warm. In February. In Michigan. We've always had more rain than snow. Never had permafrost winters. With huge piles of snow that didn't melt until May. It's so weird that George Soros would implant false weather memories in us liberals' brains. How low will they stoop? I mean, really. It's getting absurd. All these fake scientists making up fake facts, broadcast by the fake news media. And fake NASA. Everyone knows that anecdotal evidence is all we need to form 'real American' opinions. And the anecdotal evidence suggests it's fucking warmer than before. Therefore, it must have always been. The burning of fossil fuels don't even emit carbon. It's a known alternative fact. They emit rainbows and pure testosterone! Typical liberal media bias, never reporting on the testosterone-emitting benefits of fossil fuels. So WRONG! I'm like a really smart person, okay. And my rantings will NOT be questioned. Above reproach, okay. Bigly.
A response from a climate change denier named Randy: I knew someone would bring this up so I looked up the record for yesterday. It was 62 in 1976. So please explain why it is no warmer than 1976.
My rebuttal: Um, Randy, that was my point exactly. Climate-change deniers, among all kinds of other science-denying groups, like to use anecdotal evidence to try to reassure themselves, or sway public opinion that what peer-reviewed science says isn't true, but their uninformed opinion, that lacks experience or education, is not only equally valid, but superior. It would be laughable if it wasn't so terrifying. So, I decided, to use that same tactic, against them, in a satirical, midnight ramble. It was my smart-ass response to things like snowballs on the Congressional floor as proof that climate change is not taking place.
Sen. James Inhofe (R-OK) Snowball in the Senate (C-SPAN)
Further evidence:
Further, you should read this meta-study on the cumulative effects of carbon emissions and the burning of fossil fuels. It is not light reading, but it is informative, and unequivocal. There are also plenty of charts and graphs, that illustrate the point. It is also the definitive study cited by governments worldwide as their main call-to-action. The man-made rise in fossil fuel usage since the industrial revolution is responsible for the overall warming of the earth, degree by degree, year after year. Though climate changes are a natural process, they are being sped up, significantly, by the sheer amount of carbon emissions.
Climate Change 2007: Synthesis Report
Climatologists, biologists, ecologists; they don't really have a motive to lie about climate change. We all know they didn't go into the deep sciences for fame and glory. Scientists aren't household names. But we do have hugely powerful, multi-billion-dollar fossil fuel companies, entire industries, centered around the burning of these fossil fuels with a direct and substantial profit motive.
Why would anyone lie about climate change? I could think of a trillion-dollar reason.
Also, here is what those do-gooder morons over at NASA have to say. Bunch of NASsholes, really.
NASA Climate Change Facts
2/17/17
Even Fox News is calling you out, there Donny! This is at least the second time Shep Smith called out Trumpy on Russia, on air. The first was after it was established that the Russians unequivocally tampered with our election, and Trump was still denying it (he eventually acquiesced, after much waffling). Man, maybe the word 'hero' is too much, but strange allies are starting to emerge. Megyn Kelly, now Shep Smith. Maybe they are getting mighty tired of their life's work being called "fake news" by a guy that single-handedly keeps self-tanner companies in business.
Shepard Smith Calls President Trump’s Press Conference ‘Crazy’ -Yahoo from Fox News
2/16/17
Why would a "hard-charging patriot" turn down the job of National Security Advisor? Think about that, for a while. People are giving Agent Orange, a *wiiiiide* berth.
Robert Harward turns down Trump's offer to be national security adviser -The Guardian
2/15/17
Another domino in the Trump administration falls. Wage-miser and super creep Andrew Puzder is out! This is truly stranger than fiction.
Andrew Puzder Withdraws From Consideration as Labor Secretary -The New York Times
2/14/17
That sure didn't take long... General Flynn is the first casualty in the bumbling Trump administration. Do you really think Trump didn't give him the okay on talking about lifting the sanctions??? Come the fuck on. Flynn was forced to resign, by Steve Bannon, no less! Yikes! This whole bunch gives me the creeps.
They don't have any cohesion,
even among themselves. This is why cutthroat, egomaniacal businessman
make shitty world leaders. There is no greater sense of duty or morality
that exists inside of them. Any shred of that would have been
conditioned out, long ago, in the unadulterated capitalistic
thunder-dome they so sought to rule.
Flynn's Calls With Russia's Ambassador: Who Knew What, and When? -The Atlantic
2/13/17
So, how does everyone feel about this? A president at odds with his intelligence agencies: good or bad thing, folks? These are people much smarter than you or I. People at the highest reaches of the global game. People with much more experience; who have made careers out of reading, observing, and analyzing people. And their assessment of Trump isn't a favorable one. So much so that they are withholding information for fear of it being compromised, or leaked for use *against* the United States. Maybe, just maybe, this is why we shouldn't have a volatile, immature madman at the helm.
The Spy Revolt Against Trump Begins -Observer
2/12/17
To anyone who is Christian, and yet, still voted for Trump; you should read this. This makes all the points without any acerbic digs or sarcasm, as so often pepper my tirades. I cannot hide my disdain and distaste for religious hypocrisy, for it's the most egregious form of blasphemy. And further, I feel it would be disingenuous of me to do so, as my passion runneth over. But this article brooches the subject with sensitivity and care, yet a firm hand.
Dear White, Christian Trump Supporters: We Need To Talk -The Huffington Post
2/9/17
For all those morons who kept screaming 'Benghazi' as some sort of rallying cry against Hillary Clinton, how do you assholes feel about Yemen? How about the pro-lifers (pro-birthers, really), how do you feel about the children killed in this raid. Yay or nay? Is it okay because they're non-white, and non-American? Or is that just the cost of doing business?
Clinton was somehow responsible for a terrorist attack on an American embassy in a veritable war zone, while she was Secretary of State, so tell me how Trump isn't responsible for the botched raid in Yemen that he ordered? Over dinner, with little intelligence other than Obama didn't want to do it, (because he didn't have enough intel on it to move forward.) Where they did NOT capture their target, killed a bunch of civilians and a Navy Seal, and fucked up relations with the Yemeni government to the point where they withdrew permission for antiterrorist ground missions.
Why Is the White House Calling Its Yemen Raid a Success? -The Atlantic
2/9/17
Flynn's Calls With Russia's Ambassador: Who Knew What, and When? -The Atlantic
2/13/17
So, how does everyone feel about this? A president at odds with his intelligence agencies: good or bad thing, folks? These are people much smarter than you or I. People at the highest reaches of the global game. People with much more experience; who have made careers out of reading, observing, and analyzing people. And their assessment of Trump isn't a favorable one. So much so that they are withholding information for fear of it being compromised, or leaked for use *against* the United States. Maybe, just maybe, this is why we shouldn't have a volatile, immature madman at the helm.
The Spy Revolt Against Trump Begins -Observer
2/12/17
To anyone who is Christian, and yet, still voted for Trump; you should read this. This makes all the points without any acerbic digs or sarcasm, as so often pepper my tirades. I cannot hide my disdain and distaste for religious hypocrisy, for it's the most egregious form of blasphemy. And further, I feel it would be disingenuous of me to do so, as my passion runneth over. But this article brooches the subject with sensitivity and care, yet a firm hand.
Dear White, Christian Trump Supporters: We Need To Talk -The Huffington Post
2/9/17
For all those morons who kept screaming 'Benghazi' as some sort of rallying cry against Hillary Clinton, how do you assholes feel about Yemen? How about the pro-lifers (pro-birthers, really), how do you feel about the children killed in this raid. Yay or nay? Is it okay because they're non-white, and non-American? Or is that just the cost of doing business?
Clinton was somehow responsible for a terrorist attack on an American embassy in a veritable war zone, while she was Secretary of State, so tell me how Trump isn't responsible for the botched raid in Yemen that he ordered? Over dinner, with little intelligence other than Obama didn't want to do it, (because he didn't have enough intel on it to move forward.) Where they did NOT capture their target, killed a bunch of civilians and a Navy Seal, and fucked up relations with the Yemeni government to the point where they withdrew permission for antiterrorist ground missions.
Spicer is calling for apologies from anyone calling the raid anything
but a sweeping success, including Senator John McCain, though by all
accounts, it was an unmitigated disaster. Oh, no, but that's not a
failure. It's an ALTERNATIVE SUCCESS!!!
Why Is the White House Calling Its Yemen Raid a Success? -The Atlantic
2/9/17
This shit happens to me all the time. Go figure...
Even from those that seem "well-intentioned." And women do it to other women too. Because they've been castigated and subjugated; they think because they didn't stand up, no woman should. Fuuuck that. They need to get a backbone and some God damned self-respect.
Though, I don't second guess myself, as this article suggests, which is what the men who engage in this bullshit are after. I double the fuck down, because I know their petty, insecure game. Sorry wieners, but intelligence isn't gender biased. It's arbitrary as fuck. So that really punches some holes in the ol' male supremacy theory.
Elizabeth Warren Was Told to Be Quiet. Women Can Relate. -The New York Times
2/6/17
Bernie calling out Trump for the lying charlatan that he is. We fucking tried to tell you. A guy that spent 70 years of his life fucking over the little guy wasn't going to just magically change his nefarious ways to start working for the middle class, when given ultimate power. What the fuck made any of you think that???? Are you all smoking crystal meth?
After Trump moves to undo financial regulations, Sanders calls him ‘a fraud’ -The Washington Post
1/31/17
Holy shit! It's like they think we are all fucking morons!!! "Those peons will never put the pieces of the puzzle together! And even if they do, we'll have undermined and obliterated the truth enough for it not to matter...Muahahaha!"
eff Sessions grills Sally Yates on saying no to the president when she was Obama’s nominee -Raw Story
1/30/17
Even from those that seem "well-intentioned." And women do it to other women too. Because they've been castigated and subjugated; they think because they didn't stand up, no woman should. Fuuuck that. They need to get a backbone and some God damned self-respect.
Though, I don't second guess myself, as this article suggests, which is what the men who engage in this bullshit are after. I double the fuck down, because I know their petty, insecure game. Sorry wieners, but intelligence isn't gender biased. It's arbitrary as fuck. So that really punches some holes in the ol' male supremacy theory.
Elizabeth Warren Was Told to Be Quiet. Women Can Relate. -The New York Times
2/6/17
Bernie calling out Trump for the lying charlatan that he is. We fucking tried to tell you. A guy that spent 70 years of his life fucking over the little guy wasn't going to just magically change his nefarious ways to start working for the middle class, when given ultimate power. What the fuck made any of you think that???? Are you all smoking crystal meth?
After Trump moves to undo financial regulations, Sanders calls him ‘a fraud’ -The Washington Post
1/31/17
Holy shit! It's like they think we are all fucking morons!!! "Those peons will never put the pieces of the puzzle together! And even if they do, we'll have undermined and obliterated the truth enough for it not to matter...Muahahaha!"
eff Sessions grills Sally Yates on saying no to the president when she was Obama’s nominee -Raw Story
1/30/17
I
think all those geniuses who said we were overreacting when, we on the
left, compared Trump's campaign to the Third Reich, can officially go
fuck themselves now. You've got white supremacist, cargo short-wearing
fat-fuck, Renaissance peasant Steve Bannon drafting executive orders.
And he's now on the National Security Council! A group of white,
small-dicked douche bags signing away women's rights in the Oval Office.
(I'd prefer Slick Willy getting his sucked in the Oval Office to this,
quite frankly.) We've got a ban on Muslims, but only from countries
Trump *doesn't* have business dealings with. We're turning away humans
in need, like good hypocrites...ahem, I mean Christians.
And the president is already ignoring orders from the courts, for stays on many of the Muslims caught in limbo, due to Constitutionality concerns. Fuck that old yellow piece of paper, right?! I mean these people already pick and choose from their Bible, so why not the Constitution too. Nothing is sacred when you're a fascist dictator or his stupefied constituents.
So, what do Bernie Sanders, the Pope, and Dick Cheney all have in common? And no, this is not the set-up for a dirty joke... Give up? They all think the Muslim ban is a terrible idea! For not only humanitarian reasons, but for national security reasons too. Banning Muslims, especially from cherry-picked countries, while excluding countries that actually harbored Al Qaeda, just creates more reasons for ordinary folks to radicalize and it gives momentum and fodder to the terrorist factions to recruit more minions. It also doesn't do anything about any of the home-grown radical fundamentalists (including and especially the Christian dominionists.)
We've got the world's dumbest wall going up. $15-25 BILLION dollars worth. That Mexico unequivocally said they are NOT going to pay for. We get to foot the bill for a stupid wall, of which there are already walls, fencing, and patrols up around much the border. Why is the wall stupid you ask? Because tunnels, (like all those ones drugs are smuggled through), airplanes and boats exist. That's why. And if "bad hombres" really wanted to get into this country so bad to wreak havoc, they would find a fucking way. Like go through Canada or fly in from Europe. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. (Just like those 2nd Amendment bozos always say: why bother with gun laws because the bad guys will just get them illegally, anyway. Funny though, I bet the Venn Diagram on that would have a whole bunch of overlap.)
We've got a president and his band of fascists Brownshirts waging war on legitimate new sources (which is rich considering Bannon previously ran FrightFart news) in an effort to undermine the truth, and hide their dirty double-dealings through "alternative facts" aka LIES and PROPAGANDA. They are charging journalists with felonies just for covering protests. And trying to silence any and all even quasi-scientific, government agencies. While our fuhrer, I mean, president can't keep his tiny, orange hands from sending out petty and trivial tweets about his perceived enemies like Alec Baldwin, union leaders that called him out, or Congressman and civil rights hero, John Lewis.
It's obvious Agent Orange is in-league with Putin. Not only through corrupt business dealings, but through blackmail kompromat too. And the ex-KGB agent that was suspected of helping MI-6 agent Christopher Steele compile that dossier on Trump was just found murdered in the back of his car, in Moscow. So there's that. Not to mention Trump has already threatened to militarize Chicago. What fun! How did democracy ever exist without this guy?!
Cheeto-Mussolini and his billionaire cronies want to pretend climate change isn't real so they can keep right on polluting the planet for obscene profits, at the expense of us all. They don't want to invest in or develop clean energy sources because than the fossil fuel companies won't be top dog any longer, and they won't be able to pay for that fifth vacation home, private jet, or yacht. Good old-fashioned greed is the only motive for denying the research of 98% of scientists on this planet (who really don't have a fucking motive to lie!)
And then we have the domino effects of all this tyrannical bullshit. Republican wing-nuts in Texas are trying to pass a law making abortion a felony, which would mean any woman who gets one then loses her right to vote. How's that for disenfranchisement and totalitarianism!
They want women to breed like cattle. They aren't pro-life; they are pro-livestock. And further, no one cares about these kids or mothers once the babies are born. They are trying like hell to repeal the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare) and cut and/or privatize Medicaid, Medicare, Social Security, CHIP, funding for the arts, public schools, and WIC and food stamp programs. Because fuck those screaming infants! Fuck those hungry children. Wah, wah, wah! Quit complaining! Get a job, you free-loading ankle-biters, like the kids in the sweatshops overseas, producing Trump merchandise! We only care about fetuses and zygotes. They don't have money for these programs, but they sure have $25 billion just lying around for that wall!
This is blasphemy of the worst fucking kind. Self-righteous hypocrisy. This isn't what Jesus would do. This is some warped Ayn Rand bullshit. Think about that next time you are on your knees to pray.
This is what fascism looks like, folks. Using fear tactics, propaganda, and scapegoating minority groups to control and manipulate you into handing over the power to them, where they take it and run. They overreach, they rape and pillage, they punish dissenters, and they eliminate any and all perceived enemies. The checks and balances in our democracy can only stretch so far.
The only bantam solace I can glean from this is, that no longer can the red states claim that they are the "real Americans." No longer can they shout that they are the true patriots, for they are the ones that allowed our democracy to crumble. They are the ones that hand-delivered our Democracy to a bunch of fascists. So a special fuck you to all those that contributed to this test of our great Republic. I sincerely hope we don't lose our democracy and all the progress that so many have worked and toiled for. That so many have given their lives for. Especially over a corrupt, spray-tanned, whiny megalomaniac in a bad toupee. You knew he was like this, but you voted for him anyway. You were warned about this countless times. I know I posted article after article about this very subject. You didn't care, you thought you knew better. You thought you didn't have to listen to any lefty, academic, liberal snowflakes. You were sick of Obama and his successful blackness, and you sure as hell weren't going to let a woman tell you what to do for four years! That's a fascist's- I mean a white man's job! So a big thanks to all those *real Americans* who installed a fascist, erratic, and overly-sensitive dictator into the White House. Make the White House white again!
1/21/17
Next time a Trump supporter is perplexed as to why someone might think they are racist, show them David Duke's tweet. Never forget you are now on the same team as the Klan and those alt-right Neo-Nazis douche bros, like Richard Spencer, the "hail trump" shithead. You're all celebrating and taking ownership of the same guy. Think of all the new friends you'll make!
David Duke: We did it -The Hill
Also, here is Hitler Youth Haircut getting punched, by some masked vigilante, and then running away, like a grabbed-pussy.
The World Deserves A Space On The Web Devoted To Nothing But Richard Spencer Getting Punched In The Face -Modern Liberals
1/15/17
MAKE AMERICA GROPE AGAIN!!!
It's just locker room banter, folks! It's just words; they don't even matter! So, using that logic, you can't even get pissed at the shit I write. Haha!
"He allegedly replied: "I love this new world, I no longer have to be politically correct," according to the warrant... As she walked by, he allegedly pinched her in the groin area, according to the warrant. She threatened to punch him if he ever did that again, the warrant said. She said he "looked back with a really evil look in his eyes and said, 'it would be your word against mine and nobody will believe you,'" according to the warrant."
But wait... It's not just words, it's words and pussy grabs, and groin pinches, and forcible tongue-kissing, and tit fondles, and full-on rapes of 13 year olds. (See Jeffrey Epstein cases.) Because if words can't or don't incite actions, then what is the point of speech, or any type of written or verbal communication? When you question your husband on why he didn't take out the garbage like you asked, will you willingly accept the answer, "I didn't take it out because words don't matter, remember?" And we can take it a few steps further than household chores. If you found a series of racy sexts between your wife and another man, would you not be at all mad because, you know, words don't matter? If words don't matter, then the Constitution doesn't matter, nor the Bill the Rights. If words don't matter then I guess the Second Amendment doesn't matter. If words don't matter, then why does President-Elect Tiny Hands take to Twitter to try and excoriate his perceived enemies? I mean saying words don't matter is like taking a hot, steamy pee on one of the few reasons that man is at the top of the food chain; that is, extensive language. Being able to verbally communicate beyond a series of grunts and chest thumps are what led to the building of civilizations, as flawed as they may be. You want to separate yourselves so desperately from your evolutionary Simian relatives, yet you would now like to do so without recognizing one of man's crowning differences. It must take a whole lot of cognitive dissonance and mental gymnastics to work that shit out in your heads.
Also, I totally realized who Donny reminds me of: Richard Dawson! But without the English refinement, subtle charm, nor the dry wit.
Cops: Greenwich Republican Insulted Town Worker, Then Pinched Her Groin
Maybe Agent Orange can get DJ Assault to play the Inauguration. DJ *Sexual* Assault. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eu2OYcgr4rM
1/12/17
Laughing at Donny's Russian hotel piss parties is all we have left. He is an openly hostile, fraudulent conman. And now he is "leading" the free world. Are we really this racist and sexist that we let this C-list celebrity buffoon be elected to the highest office in the land? Or are we just that gullible? Even if you voted for this guy because you bought into his BS narrative on jobs, corruption, blah-blah-blah, you couldn't possibly be happy with his performance thus far. The last Republican administration fucked over the economy, so let's do it again, with even shittier players. Donny is a lying, greedy, weasel-y pervert. And he is perverting our hard-earned American freedoms. His global business conflicts of interest, his Russian ties and sympathies (which may turn out to based on blackmail, on top of monetary reasons), his sexual assault allegations, and his boorish behavior should have made him a laughingstock. Instead it made him our President. A dangerous, thin-skinned, whiny, vindictive poor excuse for a President. Certainly not our finest. Definitely no where near great. At this point, I miss Dub-ya.
Donald Trump press conference: Folders 'containing his business plan' appear to be blank -Independent
And the president is already ignoring orders from the courts, for stays on many of the Muslims caught in limbo, due to Constitutionality concerns. Fuck that old yellow piece of paper, right?! I mean these people already pick and choose from their Bible, so why not the Constitution too. Nothing is sacred when you're a fascist dictator or his stupefied constituents.
So, what do Bernie Sanders, the Pope, and Dick Cheney all have in common? And no, this is not the set-up for a dirty joke... Give up? They all think the Muslim ban is a terrible idea! For not only humanitarian reasons, but for national security reasons too. Banning Muslims, especially from cherry-picked countries, while excluding countries that actually harbored Al Qaeda, just creates more reasons for ordinary folks to radicalize and it gives momentum and fodder to the terrorist factions to recruit more minions. It also doesn't do anything about any of the home-grown radical fundamentalists (including and especially the Christian dominionists.)
We've got the world's dumbest wall going up. $15-25 BILLION dollars worth. That Mexico unequivocally said they are NOT going to pay for. We get to foot the bill for a stupid wall, of which there are already walls, fencing, and patrols up around much the border. Why is the wall stupid you ask? Because tunnels, (like all those ones drugs are smuggled through), airplanes and boats exist. That's why. And if "bad hombres" really wanted to get into this country so bad to wreak havoc, they would find a fucking way. Like go through Canada or fly in from Europe. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. (Just like those 2nd Amendment bozos always say: why bother with gun laws because the bad guys will just get them illegally, anyway. Funny though, I bet the Venn Diagram on that would have a whole bunch of overlap.)
We've got a president and his band of fascists Brownshirts waging war on legitimate new sources (which is rich considering Bannon previously ran FrightFart news) in an effort to undermine the truth, and hide their dirty double-dealings through "alternative facts" aka LIES and PROPAGANDA. They are charging journalists with felonies just for covering protests. And trying to silence any and all even quasi-scientific, government agencies. While our fuhrer, I mean, president can't keep his tiny, orange hands from sending out petty and trivial tweets about his perceived enemies like Alec Baldwin, union leaders that called him out, or Congressman and civil rights hero, John Lewis.
It's obvious Agent Orange is in-league with Putin. Not only through corrupt business dealings, but through blackmail kompromat too. And the ex-KGB agent that was suspected of helping MI-6 agent Christopher Steele compile that dossier on Trump was just found murdered in the back of his car, in Moscow. So there's that. Not to mention Trump has already threatened to militarize Chicago. What fun! How did democracy ever exist without this guy?!
Cheeto-Mussolini and his billionaire cronies want to pretend climate change isn't real so they can keep right on polluting the planet for obscene profits, at the expense of us all. They don't want to invest in or develop clean energy sources because than the fossil fuel companies won't be top dog any longer, and they won't be able to pay for that fifth vacation home, private jet, or yacht. Good old-fashioned greed is the only motive for denying the research of 98% of scientists on this planet (who really don't have a fucking motive to lie!)
And then we have the domino effects of all this tyrannical bullshit. Republican wing-nuts in Texas are trying to pass a law making abortion a felony, which would mean any woman who gets one then loses her right to vote. How's that for disenfranchisement and totalitarianism!
They want women to breed like cattle. They aren't pro-life; they are pro-livestock. And further, no one cares about these kids or mothers once the babies are born. They are trying like hell to repeal the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare) and cut and/or privatize Medicaid, Medicare, Social Security, CHIP, funding for the arts, public schools, and WIC and food stamp programs. Because fuck those screaming infants! Fuck those hungry children. Wah, wah, wah! Quit complaining! Get a job, you free-loading ankle-biters, like the kids in the sweatshops overseas, producing Trump merchandise! We only care about fetuses and zygotes. They don't have money for these programs, but they sure have $25 billion just lying around for that wall!
This is blasphemy of the worst fucking kind. Self-righteous hypocrisy. This isn't what Jesus would do. This is some warped Ayn Rand bullshit. Think about that next time you are on your knees to pray.
This is what fascism looks like, folks. Using fear tactics, propaganda, and scapegoating minority groups to control and manipulate you into handing over the power to them, where they take it and run. They overreach, they rape and pillage, they punish dissenters, and they eliminate any and all perceived enemies. The checks and balances in our democracy can only stretch so far.
The only bantam solace I can glean from this is, that no longer can the red states claim that they are the "real Americans." No longer can they shout that they are the true patriots, for they are the ones that allowed our democracy to crumble. They are the ones that hand-delivered our Democracy to a bunch of fascists. So a special fuck you to all those that contributed to this test of our great Republic. I sincerely hope we don't lose our democracy and all the progress that so many have worked and toiled for. That so many have given their lives for. Especially over a corrupt, spray-tanned, whiny megalomaniac in a bad toupee. You knew he was like this, but you voted for him anyway. You were warned about this countless times. I know I posted article after article about this very subject. You didn't care, you thought you knew better. You thought you didn't have to listen to any lefty, academic, liberal snowflakes. You were sick of Obama and his successful blackness, and you sure as hell weren't going to let a woman tell you what to do for four years! That's a fascist's- I mean a white man's job! So a big thanks to all those *real Americans* who installed a fascist, erratic, and overly-sensitive dictator into the White House. Make the White House white again!
1/21/17
Next time a Trump supporter is perplexed as to why someone might think they are racist, show them David Duke's tweet. Never forget you are now on the same team as the Klan and those alt-right Neo-Nazis douche bros, like Richard Spencer, the "hail trump" shithead. You're all celebrating and taking ownership of the same guy. Think of all the new friends you'll make!
David Duke: We did it -The Hill
Also, here is Hitler Youth Haircut getting punched, by some masked vigilante, and then running away, like a grabbed-pussy.
The World Deserves A Space On The Web Devoted To Nothing But Richard Spencer Getting Punched In The Face -Modern Liberals
1/15/17
MAKE AMERICA GROPE AGAIN!!!
It's just locker room banter, folks! It's just words; they don't even matter! So, using that logic, you can't even get pissed at the shit I write. Haha!
"He allegedly replied: "I love this new world, I no longer have to be politically correct," according to the warrant... As she walked by, he allegedly pinched her in the groin area, according to the warrant. She threatened to punch him if he ever did that again, the warrant said. She said he "looked back with a really evil look in his eyes and said, 'it would be your word against mine and nobody will believe you,'" according to the warrant."
But wait... It's not just words, it's words and pussy grabs, and groin pinches, and forcible tongue-kissing, and tit fondles, and full-on rapes of 13 year olds. (See Jeffrey Epstein cases.) Because if words can't or don't incite actions, then what is the point of speech, or any type of written or verbal communication? When you question your husband on why he didn't take out the garbage like you asked, will you willingly accept the answer, "I didn't take it out because words don't matter, remember?" And we can take it a few steps further than household chores. If you found a series of racy sexts between your wife and another man, would you not be at all mad because, you know, words don't matter? If words don't matter, then the Constitution doesn't matter, nor the Bill the Rights. If words don't matter then I guess the Second Amendment doesn't matter. If words don't matter, then why does President-Elect Tiny Hands take to Twitter to try and excoriate his perceived enemies? I mean saying words don't matter is like taking a hot, steamy pee on one of the few reasons that man is at the top of the food chain; that is, extensive language. Being able to verbally communicate beyond a series of grunts and chest thumps are what led to the building of civilizations, as flawed as they may be. You want to separate yourselves so desperately from your evolutionary Simian relatives, yet you would now like to do so without recognizing one of man's crowning differences. It must take a whole lot of cognitive dissonance and mental gymnastics to work that shit out in your heads.
Also, I totally realized who Donny reminds me of: Richard Dawson! But without the English refinement, subtle charm, nor the dry wit.
Cops: Greenwich Republican Insulted Town Worker, Then Pinched Her Groin
Maybe Agent Orange can get DJ Assault to play the Inauguration. DJ *Sexual* Assault. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eu2OYcgr4rM
1/12/17
Laughing at Donny's Russian hotel piss parties is all we have left. He is an openly hostile, fraudulent conman. And now he is "leading" the free world. Are we really this racist and sexist that we let this C-list celebrity buffoon be elected to the highest office in the land? Or are we just that gullible? Even if you voted for this guy because you bought into his BS narrative on jobs, corruption, blah-blah-blah, you couldn't possibly be happy with his performance thus far. The last Republican administration fucked over the economy, so let's do it again, with even shittier players. Donny is a lying, greedy, weasel-y pervert. And he is perverting our hard-earned American freedoms. His global business conflicts of interest, his Russian ties and sympathies (which may turn out to based on blackmail, on top of monetary reasons), his sexual assault allegations, and his boorish behavior should have made him a laughingstock. Instead it made him our President. A dangerous, thin-skinned, whiny, vindictive poor excuse for a President. Certainly not our finest. Definitely no where near great. At this point, I miss Dub-ya.
Donald Trump press conference: Folders 'containing his business plan' appear to be blank -Independent
Thursday, December 22, 2016
Merry Fuckin' Christmas: A Playlist for the Disenchanted Scrooge
What is Christmas really? But a series of self-inflicted disappointments, a heap of maddening family obligations, and a stocking full of artificially flocked memories. It is shoveling snow, eating lukewarm buffet food, seeing people you'd never associate with otherwise, and wishing you were somewhere warmer. Like a red-and-green tinseled personal Hell.
And as if Christmas could get any tackier, more commercialized or secular. Going into credit card debt, standing in long lines, and wrestling your neighbor over an off-brand flatscreen. Being general fuckfaces every other day of the year. That is truly the 'war on Christmas.' But nobody bats an eyelash at that. We all want more. But God forbid somebody wishes someone else, "Happy Holidays," instead of "Merry Christmas." People should be thankful for any well-wishes at all. Because they can just as easily get a "Fuck off," or an "Up yours!" if that better tickles their delicate, little, hot-house orchid fancy. People up-in-arms about Starbucks cups that aren't Christmas-y enough. A string of vitriolic, racist comments about Mall of America's decision to hire one black Santa Claus. These are the same morons who think Jesus was white. For fuck's sake. It must be nice to lead such a privileged and charmed life that some manner of season's greeting is all somebody's got to bitch about. People hate shit like that because it completely negates real people's suffering. And it makes them look like big, whiny assholes. It's tone-deaf and unbearable. People are such pricks.
So here is my humble contribution to the 'War On Christmas.' Because it's not really Christmas until one family member yells at another, "Merry fucking Christmas!" Shove this up your chimney and smoke it.
The Ramones- Merry Christmas (I Don't Want To Fight Tonight)
Julian Casablancas- I Wish It Was Christmas Today
The Dropkick Murphys- The Season's Upon Us
The Sex Pistols- Jingle Bells
Bob Dylan- Must Be Santa
Asylum Street Spankers- Trim Your Tree
Clarence Carter- Backdoor Santa
Unknown Hinson- Black and Blue Christmas
Iron Maiden- Another Rock and Roll Christmas
Dio- God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
Lemmy Kilmister- Run Run Rudolph
Twisted Sister- Oh Come All Ye Faithful
AC/DC- Mistress for Christmas
Guns N' Roses- White Christmas
Husker Du- We Wish You A Merry Christmas
Half Man Half Biscuit- It's Cliched to be Cynical at Christmas
The Eels- Everything's Going to be Cool This Christmas
The Flaming Lips- Christmas at the Zoo
The Pogues- Fairytale of New York
Queen- Thank God It's Christmas
Greg Lake- I Believe in Father Christmas
Mud- Lonely This Christmas
Robert Earl Keen- Merry Christmas From The Family
Dolly Parton- Hard Candy Christmas
Tom Waits- Christmas Card From a Hooker in Minneapolis
And as if Christmas could get any tackier, more commercialized or secular. Going into credit card debt, standing in long lines, and wrestling your neighbor over an off-brand flatscreen. Being general fuckfaces every other day of the year. That is truly the 'war on Christmas.' But nobody bats an eyelash at that. We all want more. But God forbid somebody wishes someone else, "Happy Holidays," instead of "Merry Christmas." People should be thankful for any well-wishes at all. Because they can just as easily get a "Fuck off," or an "Up yours!" if that better tickles their delicate, little, hot-house orchid fancy. People up-in-arms about Starbucks cups that aren't Christmas-y enough. A string of vitriolic, racist comments about Mall of America's decision to hire one black Santa Claus. These are the same morons who think Jesus was white. For fuck's sake. It must be nice to lead such a privileged and charmed life that some manner of season's greeting is all somebody's got to bitch about. People hate shit like that because it completely negates real people's suffering. And it makes them look like big, whiny assholes. It's tone-deaf and unbearable. People are such pricks.
So here is my humble contribution to the 'War On Christmas.' Because it's not really Christmas until one family member yells at another, "Merry fucking Christmas!" Shove this up your chimney and smoke it.
The Ramones- Merry Christmas (I Don't Want To Fight Tonight)
Julian Casablancas- I Wish It Was Christmas Today
The Dropkick Murphys- The Season's Upon Us
The Sex Pistols- Jingle Bells
Bob Dylan- Must Be Santa
Asylum Street Spankers- Trim Your Tree
Clarence Carter- Backdoor Santa
Unknown Hinson- Black and Blue Christmas
Iron Maiden- Another Rock and Roll Christmas
Dio- God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
Lemmy Kilmister- Run Run Rudolph
Twisted Sister- Oh Come All Ye Faithful
AC/DC- Mistress for Christmas
Guns N' Roses- White Christmas
Husker Du- We Wish You A Merry Christmas
Half Man Half Biscuit- It's Cliched to be Cynical at Christmas
The Eels- Everything's Going to be Cool This Christmas
The Flaming Lips- Christmas at the Zoo
The Pogues- Fairytale of New York
Queen- Thank God It's Christmas
Greg Lake- I Believe in Father Christmas
Mud- Lonely This Christmas
Robert Earl Keen- Merry Christmas From The Family
Dolly Parton- Hard Candy Christmas
Tom Waits- Christmas Card From a Hooker in Minneapolis
Saturday, December 17, 2016
Livin's Mostly Wastin' Time: A Playlist for the Quixotic
Here are some tunes for the quixotic, the moody, the sullen and forlorn. Music for those that know the sting of unrequited love or the icy wind of loneliness, as well as a tender, lover's kiss. A playlist for those that dwell in the sentimental underbelly of heartbreak and jade. These are songs for those who prefer their romance viewed through a haze of smoke. For the dark and lachrymose; the prurient night-junkies.
Livin's Mostly Just Wastin' Time Playlist
Tom Waits- Falling Down
Thelonious Monster- Adios Lounge (Bob Kuhn)
Cranford Nix- A Heart That Ain't Ever Been Pure
The Cramps- Lonesome Town (Ricky Nelson)
Lou Reed- Perfect Day
Ry Cooder- Waitin' For Some Girl
Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers- The Wild One, Forever
Nick Curran & The Lowlifes- Psycho
Hank 3 Ft. Tom Waits- Fadin' Moon
Nick Cave- Do You Love Me
Jimmie Dale Gilmore- Because the Wind
Roy Orbison- In Dreams
Lyle Lovett- L.A. County
Leon Russel- Pisces Apple Lady
Jimmie Dale Gilmore- Braver Newer World
Guy Clark- Broken Hearted People
Lyle Lovett- Step Inside This House (Guy Clark)
Gogol Bordello- Through the Roof 'n' Underground
Warren Zevon- Hostage-O
Drive-By Truckers- Carl Perkins Cadillac
The Ramones- S-L-U-G
Chuck E. Weiss- Horseface
Tom Waits- Danny Says (The Ramones)
The Ramones- I Don't Want to Grow Up (Tom Waits)
Jeff Bridges- I Don't Know
Jeff Bridges & The Abiders- Never Let Go (Tom Waits)
Townes Van Zandt- To Live Is To Fly
Hank Williams Sr. - Ramblin' Man
Uncle Tupelo- Whiskey Bottle (Acoustic version)
Them- It's All Over Now, Baby Blue (Bob Dylan)
Tom Waits- Who Are You
Thin Lizzy- Whiskey in the Jar
Dire Straits- Expresso Love
Ween- Gabrielle
The Pogues- Fairytale of New York
Warren Zevon- I Need A Truck
Warren Zevon- Accidentally Like A Martyr
Dr. Hook- Sylvia's Mother (Shel Silverstein)
The Flaming Lips- Yoshimi Battle The Pink Robots Pt. 1
Dan Zanes & Broken Social Scene- Jack Tar On Shore
The Band- Atlantic City (Live)
Johnny Cash- Solitary Man (Neil Diamond)
Jerry Jeff Walker- Leavin' Texas
Steely Dan- Dr. Wu
Guy Clark- L.A. Freeway
Chris Isaak- Cheater's Town
Friday, September 23, 2016
The Soundtrack To 'The Road To Hell Is Paved With Good Intentions'
This is the soundtrack to an unpublished piece titled, The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions. Sometimes the shit piles so high, it hits the ceiling, and one can't seem to see straight anymore. One gets dizzy from the stench, and even more daunted by the amount of work it would take to clean up the mess. So one, just sort of, uh, gets used to it. Draw your own conclusions, twist in the wind, and/or fuck off.
The New York Dolls- Personality Crisis
Ween- Happy Colored Marbles
Lou Reed- Vicious
Drive-By Truckers- Assholes
The Ramones- Danny Says
Shel Silverstein- I Got Stoned and I Missed It
Allen Toussaint- The Chokin' Kind
The Sprague Brothers- Better Believe
Merle Haggard- Tonight The Bottle Let Me Down
Uncle Tupelo- So-Called Friend
Sublime- Foolish Fool (Acoustic)
Tom Waits- House Where Nobody Lives
Tom Waits- A Good Man Is Hard To Find
Ry Cooder- Waitin' For Some Girl
John Lennon- Gimme Some Truth
Lucinda Williams- Price To Pay
Warren Zevon- Mutineer
Jonathan Richman- You Can't Talk to the Dude
Ernie K Doe- MIL
Leo Sayer- Giving It All Away
Lyle Lovett- God Will
The Casinos- Then You Can Tell Me Goodbye
Tuesday, July 19, 2016
Faulkner's Northern Wetdream: Revisited
Yeah, we're the aggressors
here, or better yet, I'm the aggressor.
Sure. That's why you were sauntering around the crowd, arms crossed, so
self-satisfied, while we anxiously hid in a CVS like refugees,
nervously looking over our shoulders that you'd find us. That really
sounds like people on the offensive. You're so God-damned out of touch with
reality. You've gathered enough people around to buy into this
bullshit, that it's like you've got your own fucking cult. I think my
mother put
it best when she said you guys reminded her of the cast of Rosemary's
Baby. I would recommend you read Plato's Allegory of the Cave if I
thought it would do any good, but it won't. What you think is reality
is really just shadows projected on the cave wall. I will be referring
to you as a collective from here on in, not only to streamline the
writing, but because you all seem to think exactly the same, so if the
shoe fucking fits...
There are just so many things about this that make no sense at all. This is completely devoid of logic. Why would a family want their son/brother to suffer with drug and alcohol addiction? Why would they try to vehemently make the case that he doesn't have a problem? Isn't it usually the other way around? The addict is the one denying the problem, the addict is the one refusing to get treatment, while the family desperately tries to get him to see what he is doing to himself, to help him get into a program or therapy with some kind of intervention? I was absolutely shocked at the resistance exhibited by the lot of you. Telling him he doesn't have a problem, he's completely fine; he's perfect so why would he need treatment? As if somehow you could possibly know what he was going through anyway. You never cared enough about anyone other than yourselves to even inquire as to how he was doing. Even after he came to you to let you know he did have a problem, you still denied it. So any diffusion of responsibility you previously felt justified by through feigning ignorance, was obliterated at that moment when he intimated to you the nature of his problem. (Which actually only applies to one of you, because the others were active participants in his addictions, so there was no denying it.)
I sat on that idea for years before it became clear to me why you wouldn't want him to clean up; drugged up people are much easier to manipulate. Their reaction times are slower, that don't put up much resistance; they just hazily acquiesce, and they barely remember anything upon sobering up. You took a page right out of Bill Cosby's playbook. You exalted him, you idolized him, you sexualized him, to the point where he was no longer a person, just this concept. Also, I think the denial runs even deeper than that. His addictions weren't the cause of his egomania, depression, and abusive nature; they were just further symptoms. It was the abusive, covertly incestuous and neglectful environment in which he grew up that led him down that path of addiction. It was his only escape from a perverse world in which he was so deeply entrenched. He's really a textbook case, according to mountains of research on the subject. (Please feel free to look it up.) And if you were to acknowledge the addictions, you would have to eventually acknowledge the cause of those addictions, which in no way were any of you prepared to do. That would mean having to take responsibility for years worth of selfishness and bad choices, that affected him far into his adulthood. That would mean that your secret was out, and you weren't all as great as you'd like to tell yourselves.
It's really telling when an abusive person is victimizing themselves and pointing fingers at others. "No, no, it's not me! It's this other person; this interloper, this stranger. That's the problem!" It's all part and parcel to the ongoing abuse that never stopped since his childhood. It's also emotional abuse 101. If you can blame some sucker, then you can take all the heat off yourself. Why was it again that none of you got along with any of his previous girlfriends? That you found something wrong with all of them, but never expressed that to him, oh no. You'd much rather secretly sabotage things so they would break up. Thanks for looking out! You're the only common denominator between them. It sure ain't me. I wasn't around for all that belligerence. I certainly wasn't the first person you fought with. It seems that no one was ever going to make him as happy as you. No one was ever good enough for your golden boy. And the shit worked, for a while. You were able to control and manipulate him to your ends. You were happier when is brain was Swiss cheese because he actually bought in to your bullshit. It just doesn't work too well when his mind is thinking clearly, especially when non-involved third parties alert him of the problem, and he can start to see the selfish and creepy motives behind your words and actions. You continue to keep proving me right.
The part of this that is the most mind-boggling though, is that you think for some reason he is going to want a relationship with you people even though you treat his wife and daughter like shit. You talk shit about me to anyone and everyone that will listen, from mutual friends to his ex-girlfriend, who's guts you hated until a little while ago, when she could be of use to you. Yeah, all of a sudden you guys are best buddies and you can barely remember why you were sworn enemies in the first place. Fuck off with that shit. I know she contacted me at your behest. Just another pawn in the game. And speaking of pawns, you used our daughter as a pawn to manipulate him into seeing you, to try to tug on his heartstrings, and even try to work on my mother, by sending that fucking Easter basket to her house or when you stalked her at her work to give her that drawing. Because let's face it, it wasn't remotely about sending our daughter some presents, or offering a kind gesture to my mom. It was about making a big stink to my mother, so she'll be sympathetic to your position, because you think for some reason she doesn't see through your manipulative garbage either. You know who tipped me off to you? It was my father. My father told me you were the mastermind behind this dog and pony show. So trying to get my mother to go against my father's ideas is pretty laughable, especially at this point, when his legend only grows. It certainly didn't work; in fact it worked against you, because it exposed you further.
Why would he be excited or happy to have people that were supposed to love him act like this? You're not happy for his happiness, you're not happy that's he healthy and sober and focusing on being a good human being. You're pissed off that he isn't under your control anymore. That's what all this bullshit about telling him he's being controlled is about. It's the reaction formation defense mechanism employed to discredit others in an effort to keep your subconscious secret safe and try to regain power. For the first time in his life, he isn't being controlled! He is lucid and making his own decisions. It's a *real* uphill battle trying to make the argument that I am the one controlling him, as I am the only one asking him about his feelings, what he wants, what he would like to do, telling him to make up his own mind, and do what he feels is right. You just can't accept that he found happiness elsewhere. You just can't accept that he found his own voice and his own mind. You have no idea what goes on between him and I, so how could you judge what our relationship is or isn't? No one talks to you, by your own admission, so how could you possibly have any insight into this? You're not there when we hold each other, you're not there when we snuggle on the couch, you're not there when we're making love to one another and all these beautiful emotions erupt after that expression of love. You're not there when he is upset about work and I ask him what is wrong and how it makes him feel. He's never had that. He's always a little surprised that I actually care about his mental well-being. He's so often been made to feel like he just had to listen to others problems or even accomplishments, without a genuine concern for his own. That makes me sad. You're not there when we feel all the good things that make our connection so strong. We've had a lot of problems, but they have mostly stemmed from his inability to express himself directly due to the dysfunctional environment in which he was immersed for so long. To put it more simply, he had a hard time being an adult.
Further, why would he want a relationship with people that make him feel like shit about himself? Toggling between the guilt trips and sob stories employed to manipulate and expose his vulnerability, while over-compensatory, exaggerated praise and inappropriate compliments are meant to endear him to you right after the abuse he suffered, at your hand. Often times within the same conversation. Basically, you'd cut him open, just so you could kiss it and make it all better. That's sociopathic narcissism, by the fucking book. You purposefully push and pull him from feelings of guilt and indebtedness, to feelings of obligatory loyalty and duty in an effort to elicit some kind of needy, unwavering love. But all it's done is left him confused, depressed, addiction-ridden, and wildly uncomfortable. That type of ambivalent and volatile behavior is a standard manipulation tactic for the sociopath. Keeping someone constantly on edge is classic control by fear, and always dangling affection and love in front of his nose like a dog with a treat, is a cheap way to make him dance to your abhorrent tune.
You must think so little of him to say that he is only capable of being a puppet. That he could never, possibly, make these decisions on his own because that is the only way he wouldn't want your wonderfulness in his life. You fucked him up, and you want to continue to fuck him up. I can't just sit idly by and let him get fed to the wolves. My daughter needs and deserves her father, and quite frankly, I need my husband. You refuse to listen to a single thing he says, citing that it can't possibly be him talking; it's his puppet-master. At some point, or more likely, at no point, you will realize that you were his only puppet-master. Why would he be amenable to people that hate his wife and daughter and are actively doing cruel things to them? That are continually making them feel like shit, that are trying to hurt their marriage, and completely dismiss anything he says that carries a kernel of truth. It just makes no sense. He really does love us, not because he has some obligation to, but because he wants to, because it makes him feel good. We make him feel better than he has ever felt. He told me he didn't know love like that before; he didn't understand the unconditional part. He only ever had conditional love.
I'm really tired of this bullshit that I abused him. I never abused him. I certainly took abuse from him for a very long time. From the moment I moved in to that God-forsaken house, throughout my pregnancy, and through my postpartum depression. It was after I came out of my postpartum depression fog that I started to feel differently. I just couldn't take it anymore. I was tired of being treated like I was worthless. I was tired of being treated like I was a slave, and I was tired of being made a fool of. I felt like I was worth something, a lot, actually, at least to my daughter. I had to have some sense of self-worth if I was going to be a good mother. My daughter didn't need to see the main female role model in her life being emotionally and mentally abused by her father, as if to say, "Sorry kid, women are just born less than men, so this is what we have to put up with." Yeah fucking right. His emotional abuse tapped into the abuse I experienced from my grandmother as a child into early adulthood, so I just felt sort of trapped, again. And then when I finally said I wasn't going to put up with this crap anymore, he decided he needed to add physical abuse to the list to try to keep me "in line." Double fuck that. I stood up for myself, I stood up for my daughter, that's not abuse, it's fighting back. If you think that your son should be allowed to do whatever he wants to women (or men, for that matter) and there should be no consequences to that, just some sort of dutiful acceptance, then we are never going to see eye-to-eye. But all that stuff is between him and I, anyway. It's none of your God-damned business. He came running to you, back then, because he knew the jig was up and he was desperate. He lied, he made it seem like he was the victim of some evil plan, because that's what abusers do, they deflect responsibility by trying to gain sympathy. He did cruel and awful things to someone he purported to love in an effort to control them. It takes a real genius to figure out where he learned that from... He wasn't an adult that could handle his own problems, he was a little boy that got himself into big trouble and wanted to go hide under Mommy's skirt. And you let him. Shit, you made him. You weren't doing him any favors. We've had to go through so much just to get to the point where we are now. For whatever reason, I didn't give up on him. I don't know if that is love or just stubbornness or feeling trapped, but that's where we are at.
The feelings I had for him in that first month were so strong, he made me feel so much better than I had ever felt before, that I just couldn't let go because I wanted so desperately to get back to that. I never had any intention to "take him away from you," as if that's even a viable possibility, as he doesn't belong to you. You tried the whole 'keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer' tack; and it worked for a while. I bought into it, I thought you were all being sincere in your friendship. But there were hints along the way that it wasn't the case. I took them in stride until it was glaringly obvious that it was a con. The arbitrary competition about cooking, sideways comments about how I dressed, calling me by his exes' names, constantly badmouthing them to me, almost like an implied threat, trying to divide and conquer by always wanting to do activities separately. Then there were the lies, slave labor, along with the attempts at troubling making, saying things like, "Keep your hands off my brother," under the guise of a joke, taunts about him picking up his mother's phone calls, but not mine, or informing me of mean things he'd said about me to you (I mean, who sells out their own brother, unless there was some greater, nefarious purpose?) All the weirdness that surrounded the wedding and so-called "friends." It all added up to just too much. It was, as it seems, an effort to control me in much the same way you've controlled him, just with a different motive. If he is the end game, I, and even our daughter, are just obstacles, if we can't be used as pawns. I've taken enough abuse from others along the line, I'm not going to take abuse from you assholes too. And I'm not going to let you abuse my daughter or him either. You are abusing us. Abuse isn't ignoring someone, or wanting to be left alone. Abuse isn't standing up for oneself. Abuse isn't saying, "I've had enough of this shit." That's not what abuse means. Abuse is actively and persistently causing pain and making trouble for someone else for your own personal, twisted gain.
The bottom line is you are hurting him, directly, and indirectly, by hurting me and my daughter. You are hurting your own son/brother with your bullshit antics and your selfish egomania. Why would a person choose to be around people that hurt him so much? That level of masochism has no place in his life. He has responsibilities as a father, and husband, and provider. And he has a responsibility to himself to find happiness. Your unwillingness to accept him for who he is, is what led you to this point. Not some outsider conspiring against you. No one ever did that. I am not to blame for the tumultuous environment in which he grew up. I didn't cause the alcoholism, neglect, smothering, fighting, or inappropriate relationships. I'm not your family's scapegoat, and he is not the family's superhero. I was nothing but nice to all of you, and you tolerated me, until I wasn't towing the family line anymore. The guy was fucking miserable, not because of me, but because he had forty years worth of unresolved issues that he was trying to drink and smoke away. You didn't give a fuck. If he cleaned up then he might make the rest of you look bad. You did this to him and you did this to yourselves. And you're the ones missing out. Hey, maybe you're just pissed because he's doing a better job than you ever did. At least he is trying to do better. I don't think it is a coincidence that he was drawn so intensely to someone like me. I think I gave him hope, by being so significantly different than anyone he'd ever known before.
So many times, I've wondered if it's all worth it. Is it worth all the anguish and anxiety that come from this cruel and delusional family dynamic? So many times I've told him just to go back to live over there in the "family compound," just so I wouldn't have to deal with this. But he won't. He doesn't want it. And, quite frankly, I don't want him to go down that road, again, but he is certainly free to do so. I don't want him fed to the sharks. He doesn't want to be there, he doesn't want his old, depressing lifestyle back. Who would? He's changed for the better; he's grown, he's matured, but what do you care? It was never about him. It's crystal clear that you would like nothing better than to drive us apart so you can be his top priority, because really, why should he have a life? You laughably don't give a shit about me, and you don't even seem to care about your own son. But what is particularly shitty about it all, is that you don't even care how it affects and hurts your granddaughter/goddaughter, because let's face it, she's more competition for you. Just another interloping chick, you have to out-compete for his love. You'd rather her have a broken, fucked-up family, than parents that love her and love each other. I can't comprehend that level of selfishness.
There are just so many things about this that make no sense at all. This is completely devoid of logic. Why would a family want their son/brother to suffer with drug and alcohol addiction? Why would they try to vehemently make the case that he doesn't have a problem? Isn't it usually the other way around? The addict is the one denying the problem, the addict is the one refusing to get treatment, while the family desperately tries to get him to see what he is doing to himself, to help him get into a program or therapy with some kind of intervention? I was absolutely shocked at the resistance exhibited by the lot of you. Telling him he doesn't have a problem, he's completely fine; he's perfect so why would he need treatment? As if somehow you could possibly know what he was going through anyway. You never cared enough about anyone other than yourselves to even inquire as to how he was doing. Even after he came to you to let you know he did have a problem, you still denied it. So any diffusion of responsibility you previously felt justified by through feigning ignorance, was obliterated at that moment when he intimated to you the nature of his problem. (Which actually only applies to one of you, because the others were active participants in his addictions, so there was no denying it.)
I sat on that idea for years before it became clear to me why you wouldn't want him to clean up; drugged up people are much easier to manipulate. Their reaction times are slower, that don't put up much resistance; they just hazily acquiesce, and they barely remember anything upon sobering up. You took a page right out of Bill Cosby's playbook. You exalted him, you idolized him, you sexualized him, to the point where he was no longer a person, just this concept. Also, I think the denial runs even deeper than that. His addictions weren't the cause of his egomania, depression, and abusive nature; they were just further symptoms. It was the abusive, covertly incestuous and neglectful environment in which he grew up that led him down that path of addiction. It was his only escape from a perverse world in which he was so deeply entrenched. He's really a textbook case, according to mountains of research on the subject. (Please feel free to look it up.) And if you were to acknowledge the addictions, you would have to eventually acknowledge the cause of those addictions, which in no way were any of you prepared to do. That would mean having to take responsibility for years worth of selfishness and bad choices, that affected him far into his adulthood. That would mean that your secret was out, and you weren't all as great as you'd like to tell yourselves.
It's really telling when an abusive person is victimizing themselves and pointing fingers at others. "No, no, it's not me! It's this other person; this interloper, this stranger. That's the problem!" It's all part and parcel to the ongoing abuse that never stopped since his childhood. It's also emotional abuse 101. If you can blame some sucker, then you can take all the heat off yourself. Why was it again that none of you got along with any of his previous girlfriends? That you found something wrong with all of them, but never expressed that to him, oh no. You'd much rather secretly sabotage things so they would break up. Thanks for looking out! You're the only common denominator between them. It sure ain't me. I wasn't around for all that belligerence. I certainly wasn't the first person you fought with. It seems that no one was ever going to make him as happy as you. No one was ever good enough for your golden boy. And the shit worked, for a while. You were able to control and manipulate him to your ends. You were happier when is brain was Swiss cheese because he actually bought in to your bullshit. It just doesn't work too well when his mind is thinking clearly, especially when non-involved third parties alert him of the problem, and he can start to see the selfish and creepy motives behind your words and actions. You continue to keep proving me right.
The part of this that is the most mind-boggling though, is that you think for some reason he is going to want a relationship with you people even though you treat his wife and daughter like shit. You talk shit about me to anyone and everyone that will listen, from mutual friends to his ex-girlfriend, who's guts you hated until a little while ago, when she could be of use to you. Yeah, all of a sudden you guys are best buddies and you can barely remember why you were sworn enemies in the first place. Fuck off with that shit. I know she contacted me at your behest. Just another pawn in the game. And speaking of pawns, you used our daughter as a pawn to manipulate him into seeing you, to try to tug on his heartstrings, and even try to work on my mother, by sending that fucking Easter basket to her house or when you stalked her at her work to give her that drawing. Because let's face it, it wasn't remotely about sending our daughter some presents, or offering a kind gesture to my mom. It was about making a big stink to my mother, so she'll be sympathetic to your position, because you think for some reason she doesn't see through your manipulative garbage either. You know who tipped me off to you? It was my father. My father told me you were the mastermind behind this dog and pony show. So trying to get my mother to go against my father's ideas is pretty laughable, especially at this point, when his legend only grows. It certainly didn't work; in fact it worked against you, because it exposed you further.
Why would he be excited or happy to have people that were supposed to love him act like this? You're not happy for his happiness, you're not happy that's he healthy and sober and focusing on being a good human being. You're pissed off that he isn't under your control anymore. That's what all this bullshit about telling him he's being controlled is about. It's the reaction formation defense mechanism employed to discredit others in an effort to keep your subconscious secret safe and try to regain power. For the first time in his life, he isn't being controlled! He is lucid and making his own decisions. It's a *real* uphill battle trying to make the argument that I am the one controlling him, as I am the only one asking him about his feelings, what he wants, what he would like to do, telling him to make up his own mind, and do what he feels is right. You just can't accept that he found happiness elsewhere. You just can't accept that he found his own voice and his own mind. You have no idea what goes on between him and I, so how could you judge what our relationship is or isn't? No one talks to you, by your own admission, so how could you possibly have any insight into this? You're not there when we hold each other, you're not there when we snuggle on the couch, you're not there when we're making love to one another and all these beautiful emotions erupt after that expression of love. You're not there when he is upset about work and I ask him what is wrong and how it makes him feel. He's never had that. He's always a little surprised that I actually care about his mental well-being. He's so often been made to feel like he just had to listen to others problems or even accomplishments, without a genuine concern for his own. That makes me sad. You're not there when we feel all the good things that make our connection so strong. We've had a lot of problems, but they have mostly stemmed from his inability to express himself directly due to the dysfunctional environment in which he was immersed for so long. To put it more simply, he had a hard time being an adult.
Further, why would he want a relationship with people that make him feel like shit about himself? Toggling between the guilt trips and sob stories employed to manipulate and expose his vulnerability, while over-compensatory, exaggerated praise and inappropriate compliments are meant to endear him to you right after the abuse he suffered, at your hand. Often times within the same conversation. Basically, you'd cut him open, just so you could kiss it and make it all better. That's sociopathic narcissism, by the fucking book. You purposefully push and pull him from feelings of guilt and indebtedness, to feelings of obligatory loyalty and duty in an effort to elicit some kind of needy, unwavering love. But all it's done is left him confused, depressed, addiction-ridden, and wildly uncomfortable. That type of ambivalent and volatile behavior is a standard manipulation tactic for the sociopath. Keeping someone constantly on edge is classic control by fear, and always dangling affection and love in front of his nose like a dog with a treat, is a cheap way to make him dance to your abhorrent tune.
You must think so little of him to say that he is only capable of being a puppet. That he could never, possibly, make these decisions on his own because that is the only way he wouldn't want your wonderfulness in his life. You fucked him up, and you want to continue to fuck him up. I can't just sit idly by and let him get fed to the wolves. My daughter needs and deserves her father, and quite frankly, I need my husband. You refuse to listen to a single thing he says, citing that it can't possibly be him talking; it's his puppet-master. At some point, or more likely, at no point, you will realize that you were his only puppet-master. Why would he be amenable to people that hate his wife and daughter and are actively doing cruel things to them? That are continually making them feel like shit, that are trying to hurt their marriage, and completely dismiss anything he says that carries a kernel of truth. It just makes no sense. He really does love us, not because he has some obligation to, but because he wants to, because it makes him feel good. We make him feel better than he has ever felt. He told me he didn't know love like that before; he didn't understand the unconditional part. He only ever had conditional love.
I'm really tired of this bullshit that I abused him. I never abused him. I certainly took abuse from him for a very long time. From the moment I moved in to that God-forsaken house, throughout my pregnancy, and through my postpartum depression. It was after I came out of my postpartum depression fog that I started to feel differently. I just couldn't take it anymore. I was tired of being treated like I was worthless. I was tired of being treated like I was a slave, and I was tired of being made a fool of. I felt like I was worth something, a lot, actually, at least to my daughter. I had to have some sense of self-worth if I was going to be a good mother. My daughter didn't need to see the main female role model in her life being emotionally and mentally abused by her father, as if to say, "Sorry kid, women are just born less than men, so this is what we have to put up with." Yeah fucking right. His emotional abuse tapped into the abuse I experienced from my grandmother as a child into early adulthood, so I just felt sort of trapped, again. And then when I finally said I wasn't going to put up with this crap anymore, he decided he needed to add physical abuse to the list to try to keep me "in line." Double fuck that. I stood up for myself, I stood up for my daughter, that's not abuse, it's fighting back. If you think that your son should be allowed to do whatever he wants to women (or men, for that matter) and there should be no consequences to that, just some sort of dutiful acceptance, then we are never going to see eye-to-eye. But all that stuff is between him and I, anyway. It's none of your God-damned business. He came running to you, back then, because he knew the jig was up and he was desperate. He lied, he made it seem like he was the victim of some evil plan, because that's what abusers do, they deflect responsibility by trying to gain sympathy. He did cruel and awful things to someone he purported to love in an effort to control them. It takes a real genius to figure out where he learned that from... He wasn't an adult that could handle his own problems, he was a little boy that got himself into big trouble and wanted to go hide under Mommy's skirt. And you let him. Shit, you made him. You weren't doing him any favors. We've had to go through so much just to get to the point where we are now. For whatever reason, I didn't give up on him. I don't know if that is love or just stubbornness or feeling trapped, but that's where we are at.
The feelings I had for him in that first month were so strong, he made me feel so much better than I had ever felt before, that I just couldn't let go because I wanted so desperately to get back to that. I never had any intention to "take him away from you," as if that's even a viable possibility, as he doesn't belong to you. You tried the whole 'keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer' tack; and it worked for a while. I bought into it, I thought you were all being sincere in your friendship. But there were hints along the way that it wasn't the case. I took them in stride until it was glaringly obvious that it was a con. The arbitrary competition about cooking, sideways comments about how I dressed, calling me by his exes' names, constantly badmouthing them to me, almost like an implied threat, trying to divide and conquer by always wanting to do activities separately. Then there were the lies, slave labor, along with the attempts at troubling making, saying things like, "Keep your hands off my brother," under the guise of a joke, taunts about him picking up his mother's phone calls, but not mine, or informing me of mean things he'd said about me to you (I mean, who sells out their own brother, unless there was some greater, nefarious purpose?) All the weirdness that surrounded the wedding and so-called "friends." It all added up to just too much. It was, as it seems, an effort to control me in much the same way you've controlled him, just with a different motive. If he is the end game, I, and even our daughter, are just obstacles, if we can't be used as pawns. I've taken enough abuse from others along the line, I'm not going to take abuse from you assholes too. And I'm not going to let you abuse my daughter or him either. You are abusing us. Abuse isn't ignoring someone, or wanting to be left alone. Abuse isn't standing up for oneself. Abuse isn't saying, "I've had enough of this shit." That's not what abuse means. Abuse is actively and persistently causing pain and making trouble for someone else for your own personal, twisted gain.
The bottom line is you are hurting him, directly, and indirectly, by hurting me and my daughter. You are hurting your own son/brother with your bullshit antics and your selfish egomania. Why would a person choose to be around people that hurt him so much? That level of masochism has no place in his life. He has responsibilities as a father, and husband, and provider. And he has a responsibility to himself to find happiness. Your unwillingness to accept him for who he is, is what led you to this point. Not some outsider conspiring against you. No one ever did that. I am not to blame for the tumultuous environment in which he grew up. I didn't cause the alcoholism, neglect, smothering, fighting, or inappropriate relationships. I'm not your family's scapegoat, and he is not the family's superhero. I was nothing but nice to all of you, and you tolerated me, until I wasn't towing the family line anymore. The guy was fucking miserable, not because of me, but because he had forty years worth of unresolved issues that he was trying to drink and smoke away. You didn't give a fuck. If he cleaned up then he might make the rest of you look bad. You did this to him and you did this to yourselves. And you're the ones missing out. Hey, maybe you're just pissed because he's doing a better job than you ever did. At least he is trying to do better. I don't think it is a coincidence that he was drawn so intensely to someone like me. I think I gave him hope, by being so significantly different than anyone he'd ever known before.
So many times, I've wondered if it's all worth it. Is it worth all the anguish and anxiety that come from this cruel and delusional family dynamic? So many times I've told him just to go back to live over there in the "family compound," just so I wouldn't have to deal with this. But he won't. He doesn't want it. And, quite frankly, I don't want him to go down that road, again, but he is certainly free to do so. I don't want him fed to the sharks. He doesn't want to be there, he doesn't want his old, depressing lifestyle back. Who would? He's changed for the better; he's grown, he's matured, but what do you care? It was never about him. It's crystal clear that you would like nothing better than to drive us apart so you can be his top priority, because really, why should he have a life? You laughably don't give a shit about me, and you don't even seem to care about your own son. But what is particularly shitty about it all, is that you don't even care how it affects and hurts your granddaughter/goddaughter, because let's face it, she's more competition for you. Just another interloping chick, you have to out-compete for his love. You'd rather her have a broken, fucked-up family, than parents that love her and love each other. I can't comprehend that level of selfishness.
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